Dear Tuffy Luv,
I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but I don’t think I’ve had an orgasm in my life. I’ve had sex with 3 guys to date but I still haven’t got that feeling… Is there something fundamentally wrong with me? Or do I simply don’t have an idea of what an orgasm feels like??! Help me, I wanna be wowed!!!
Dear No orgasms!,
Nope! You’re normal, girl. You just got some edumacating to do. Here are Aunt Tuffy’s Sex Thoughts For You, in bulletpoints and shoop:
-Masturbate. Because, like, how can you expect a guy to know what gets you off if YOU don’t know what gets you off? Girl, you have got to WERK. Explore your body and find out what makes you hot. And next time you’re in bed with a guy, show and tell.
-Learn To Play With Toys. Vibrators. Dildos. There is a whole world of fun out there for you to check out. Do this alone. Do this with a partner. Just DO IT. Babeland is a pretty good resource and sometimes even has classes.
-Read Up. I mean, like, read a book for floop’s sake. LITERALLY.
-Fantasize. Fantasizing can totally turn up the heat and could mean the difference between orgasm and sizzling out. What turns you on? Imagine that scenario while in the sack (by yourself or with someone else).
-One Word: Porn. Or erotica. Or erotic stories. Sometimes you just need a little help getting started.
-Talk Dirty. Have him talk dirty. Talk the dirtiest dirty together. Hot.
-Just Talk. Tell him what you like. Make sure he knows when you’re enjoying yourself.
-Relax. Don’t put pressure on yourself to orgasm. It’ll either happen this time or it won’t–no big. You’re much more likely to get there if you aren’t worrying and thinking about it.
-FOREPLAY. Make sure you fool around before doing the deed!!! This makes ALLLLL the damn difference!!!
-Change Positions. When you’re having sex with a partner, change it up. Try something other than missionary. Lots of women find being on top stimulates the clitoris better (read: you might actually get to climax).
-Change Partners. Girl, if the guy just doesn’t CARE if you reach orgasm or not, then he’s not a guy who ever gets to see you naked again. Done.
Get it, girl.
Hearts & Skulls,
Ask Tuffy Luv. Or whatever. TuffyLuvCC [at] gmail [dot] com