Tis the season to make better choices. Beyond making promises to eat better, get in shape, stop procrastinating and other perfectly admirable goals, it’s time to reevaluate your sexual choices. Contrary to what Girls or Thought Catalog would have you believe, being a young adult doesn’t have to mean a constant litany of awful decisions that leave you feeling disgusting or unfulfilled. So, regardless of if you’re riding solo, in a relationship, or casually flitting from partner to partner, I have some new years resolutions for you.
1. Take more chances.
Try new toys. Experiment with different positions. Go after that crush you’ve been obsessing over. Don’t let yourself get stuck in a dull rut. While there’s nothing wrong with comfort, it can easily lead to boredom if you don’t occasionally break out of your shell.
2. Be more vocal.
Let your partners know when they’re doing a good job or when they’re not. This is how most people learn how to be better lovers.
3. Assert yourself.
Define your boundaries. Don’t let anyone get away with coercing you into things you don’t want to do. Communicate your desires and make sure you’re receiving just as much as you’re giving. There are a lot of selfish people out there who treat their partners like sex toys and neglect to take care of their needs. Don’t let anyone take advantage of you. You deserve more.
4. Be more comfortable in your skin.
Regardless of how much you weigh or how much cellulite you have or how tall you are or how conventionally attractive you are or aren’t, you deserve to have great sex. You deserve to have as many orgasms as you want. Don’t let yourself get distracted or held back by whatever physical flaws you think you have.
5. Don’t compare yourself to other people.
It doesn’t matter how much or how little or what kind of sex anyone else is having. The most important thing to be worried about is how you feel. If you’re happy with the state of your sex life, nothing else matters. Someone’s always going to be kinkier, more vanilla, more promiscuous, and more virginal than you, so don’t drive yourself crazy being worried about it. Live your life on your own terms.