True Story: I Want to Be a Trophy Wife When I Grow Up

I’ve always valued hardwork; I live to succeed. Some might even say I’m a bit of a perfectionist, but to each his own, I guess! I attend an amazing school — one I worked incredibly hard to get into, one that I love. I hope to one day have a career that I will enjoy. I want to wake up every morning with a jump in my step as I sing my way to the shower and head off to the office.

These things are fine and well and I’m sure you have similar aspirations for your own lives. That being said, I have a secret.

When I grow up, I really just want to be a wife. I want to have a white picket fence, 2.5 kids, a puppy who wags its cute little tail at me when I come home from the supermarket and a warm house that smells like expensive candles…maybe even have a gracious fire burning off in my impressive living room. Okay, so maybe I’m going overboard, but hey, a girl can dream. And I mean, I literally sometimes do dream about it…

The other day, my suite-mate/best friend and I were talking about how badly we wanted to be wives. I mean come on, she’s pre-med for goodness sake! She currently plans to be a doctor one day. I want to go on to graduate school or law school. I want to “be something”, too.

But all that aside, I really, really cannot wait for the day of my wedding. It will be the day when I can show off a beautiful engagement ring and wedding band on my (very short, not very pretty) finger and show everyone that I did it. I succeeded. It will be the beginning of the rest of my life and I cannot wait.

How sad is that? The “beginning” of my life. Yikes, I feel like I just personally set the women’s rights movement back a few decades. I know, I know, many people are going to want to punch me through their computer screens, but I mean what I said. I cannot wait to be a wife. I cannot wait to have children. I cannot wait to live the good ol’ fashioned America dream. Go on, sue me!

[Lead image via Kladej/Shutterstock]

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  1. Katy says:

    Amen, sister!
    I'm a medical student and plan to be a kick-ass surgeon one day…but at the same time adore daydreaming about baking cookies for my gorgeous blonde children in a cream kitchen with marble countertops while I wait for my husband to get home. It's a girl thing I think, we're programmed to nest & nurture :)

  2. gcampanale says:

    This is super cute. I love this! Girllll let's be real, we can succeed in a bunch of things but being a wife is…. awesome! I can't wait either. Nice to know I'm not alone!

  3. I love this post! I am a 23 yr old housewife and stay at home mom. I dropped out of college to achieve this "dream" of mine and my other half completely supported my decision. A lot of people say that its "too bad" or that their sorry for me that I don't have a career. I don' feel bad about it at all and I think others shouldn't look down on my choosing to stay home because its best for my family rather than to be gone all the time trying to chase some false sense of status and success. College and a career are very amazing things to accomplish, but its okay to be happy and look forward to being a wife and mother too.

  4. Miranda says:

    I don't think you're setting back any feminist movement! To me being a feminist is believing that women have the choice to do whatever they want with their lives and are given the opportunities to do so. Whether it be involvement in politics or medicine or a wife and a mother! Or all of the above!

  5. denessa7 says:

    I fully agree with you. I dont think you are doing anything wrong by wanting to live your life whichever way makes you happy. I am an independent woman as well but most importantly what I want for myself is to be a wife and mother.

  6. Sara J. says:

    Um I don't think what you mean is a trophy wife, I think you mean a housewife.

    Wikipedia says: "Trophy wife is an expression used to refer to a wife, usually young and attractive, who is regarded as a status symbol for the husband, who is often older and wealthy."

    Unless you actually do want to marry a rich, old guy so he can show you off, then I respect that desire. But anyway as a feminist, I'm not insulted by your dream to be a housewife. It's a huge responsibility to look after children and manage the home and if you choose to want it, that's awesome.

  7. Karen says:

    oh good I thought I was the only one! don’t get me wrong I love my major and have dreams and goals, but seriously? I would be SOO content being a stay at home mom. maybe I can put my degree to use when my kids are in high school. hahas

  8. MrsDoc says:

    Dear Sam, you are probably the age of my daughter and I know that you did not post for me to read but I have to tell you that I am 26 years post that big moment and yes, it is good. But it would not have happened if I had not continued my education (Law School) and worked hard a few years supporting him while having our first baby. To get a man who will one day earn enough to support the entire household, you have to hang out with serious students, ones in professional school or at least in a good business school. There are many nice men who will earn $50K or less their whole lives, they may even be more sensitive/sweet husbands but you would have to work unendingly. It is so hard to have your babies in someone else's care while you answer someone's phone, push someone's paper instead of taking care of you babies yourself. At the time I was not really looking for a motivated and driving man, but I got one because he also happened to be a cute and faithful boy. I was lucky but it doesn't have to be left to luck for you.

  9. Abby says:

    I think inside most women we feel this way whether it is a small part or a big part of us. Nesting and nurturing is a part of us.

  10. Katie says:

    Trophywife- (derogatory) A young, attractive wife regarded as a status symbol for an older man. The stupidity of this site sometimes amazes me.

  11. tellitgirl says:


  12. hannahflom says:

    You are not setting the feminist movement back by saying you want to get married. Women deserve the right to choose how they want to live their lives and not be judged for it, whether it be married with children or single with a great job.
    My problem with your article is your belief that once you are engaged, you have "succeeded". Getting married is a personal decision and it really should not be to show off to your friends that you "did it". Marriage is about the love and commitment between two people, not about bragging to others about your handsome fiancé and large diamond. Finally, marriage should not be the beginning of the rest of your life. Rather, it is just one large step in your entire journey of life. Besides that, your desire to become a housewife is completely respectable.

  13. Ceener says:

    "Good ol' fashioned American Dream?" Seriously? Ohhhhhh myyy gawwwddd! Do you know the desolation and emotional distress women–housewives—felt after WWII?
    I understand your having these motherly feelings and that's not anti-feminist at all. But please don't downplay these women's lives. They did not have it as easy as nice smelling homes, and happy puppies wagging their tails.
    Marriage is not a trophy. NEITHER are you nor anyone else.
    Based on the other comments, it looks like you're not alone in feeling this way. But.. just the way you wrote this article with the imagery you used to describe an ideal housewife-life really worried, disturbed, me in a way.

  14. Joseph Hyde says:

    "You Go Girl!"

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