A 16-year-old girl who did not appreciate her parents’ policy of no Internet after 10PM decided to take charge of the situation. She laced her mom and dad’s milkshakes with prescription sleeping pills on two separate occasions. Listen, that policy is super lame but Tumblr really is not that important. Oh, you need to see more Drake quotes and slender girls in studded jean shorts? Yes, in some ways we all do but in most ways not really. The girl and her friend, who was an accomplice, were promptly taken to the police station.
• Will there be a season 3 of David Lynch’s class television series Twin Peaks? Mayhaps.
• Emmy Rosum said the producers of Shameless thought she was too pretty to play Fiona. She had to fight to get the role and we’re glad she did.
• The A.V. Club has an amazing longread called the “Beginnger’s Guide To Kanye West.” It really is a wonderful critique and intro to his music.
“We have D.M.’ed. I’m a really big fan. She started following me, and here’s how you find out Taylor Swift is following you: you start hearing from all the insane Taylor Swift fans that are like, ‘If Taylor Swift loves you I love you.’ So I sent her a message. I was like, ‘I just want to let you know that your albums have gotten me through a lot of very hard times.’ When I tweeted that her new album was amazing, every one of my Twitter followers was like, ‘I so hope that you’re joking.’ But I have no interest in liking anything ironically. If I wanted to be ironic, I’d grow a mustache.”
• We have this theory, much like the one where Lindsay Lohan professes in Mean Girls that if you shaved all of Regina George’s hair off she would like a British man, that umm, Lindsay Lohan has evolved from a rare species of red-Squirtle into a ripe, old Blastoise.