For those wondering, my birthday is April 12th, but it might as well be January 7th because it was announced today that Ryan Lochte — mythical merman extraordinaire — will be getting his own reality show on E!. I will never receive a gift greater than this.
No word yet on what the show, titled What Would Ryan Lochte Do, will include beyond a glimpse at his love life and training regimen; I’m sure producers are busier devising how they can get Ryan to complete a coherent sentence. Plot lines will come later, if at all. No matter, he is gorgeous and he wears grills and he will certainly one day marry me.
Will you guys be tuning in to watch the six episodes of What Would Ryan Lochte Do that have already been approved? Are you as excited as I am, or do you think grills and custom Adidas are sooo 2012? If you’re a hater, I don’t care because he is flawless and you clearly have no taste. I’ve said my piece.