We all know and love Honey Boo Boo but the people on Toddlers & Tiaras say such amazing things they could have literally picked any one family to follow and gotten an amazing reality series. Seriously, you give a few bite-sized beauty queens a camera and a microphone and the filters come off. They’ll say just about anything unapologetically and it’s great, particularly getting inside the heads of kids who are a part of one of the weirdest aspects of American culture: pageants. These kiddies have a lot on their mind and they’re not afraid to say they’d rather have pizza than participate in some silly pageant or that they are *sigh* better than everyone else.
Check out the 15 best, funniest and most shocking quotes from Toddlers & Tiaras, in no particular order.
1. “I’m happy I won, but I’m more happy for the McDonald’s I get.”
2. “Sometimes I wish I weren’t famous and I was just a fish.”
Fish do live some pretty easy lives.
3. “It was funny, but I don’t like you so I’m not gonna laugh.”
Whether or not they win the crown, these kids are the queens of sass.
4. “When I’m not doing pageants, I sit at home and act like a cat.”
5. “Sometimes when people are rude to me, I pray they get run over by a huge truck.”
Ok, this took a dark turn.
6. “The judges must have wanted a redneck beauty queen.”
7. “My daughter has prayed to Jesus to make her look like Beyonce.”
Your daughter and I have that in common.
8. “All those girls are ugly! I’m cute!”
Confidence is key.
9. “When Claudia grows up, she wants to own a lot of Taco Bells.”
Let’s all hope that Claudia succeeds.
10. “I’m Brock and I’d describe myself as more of a diva.”
11. “If you touch my crown, I’ll bite you.”
12. “A dolla makes me holla, honey boo boo.”
13. “The last time I had a salad was never.”
14. “I wish I had an extra finger so I could grab more cheese balls.”
This is genius.
15. “I don’t need a boyfriend, I don’t need the drama.”
Well, she’s not wrong.