Dear Tuffy Luv,
Recently I was on a date with this guy I’ve been seeing for a few weeks, and we were really getting along until I mentioned that I was a feminist. He started telling with me how I shouldn’t be one and that he’s not one because he believes in equality between both sexes. I disagree with that sort of logic (it’s like saying you’re not pro-LGBT because you believe in equality between all gender identities), but I was a little shocked to be honest and kept mum on the topic for the rest of the evening.
The thing is, he stopped replying to my texts after that and then his roommate told me that he’s not interested in getting into a serious relationship with anybody. WTH. I really can’t help but think that me being a feminist completely turned him off because we were great before that date.
So what’s the deal? I never said I was a man-hater, in fact why would I try dating men if I were? Should I just not ever mention it in the future? Do guys really dislike feminists?
Dear Frustrated Feminist,
Floop that guy and floop his bullshoop. I WILL CUT HIM. I totally hate, hate, hate this crap. Being a “feminist” doesn’t mean you hate men. It means you believe women should have EQUAL RIGHTS to men. Yes, of course there are “feminists” who hate men. But there are always bad apples in any bunch. That is not what the word actually MEANS.
So if some guy assumes that, and you explain what YOU mean, and he STILL doesn’t believe you?! FLOOP. HIM.
You definitely got out of this before you had to deal with what I suspect is a totally crappy personality with this guy. Honestly. Even if he genuinely has a misunderstanding of the word, if he judges you after you try to explain your intent, AND he tries to tell you what you should and should not believe (!!!!!!), then good luck to that ashhole because he doesn’t deserve to be with you.
And that goes for ANY guy who “hates feminists” or anything else you tell him before he gets to know you and who YOU are.
Hearts & Skulls,
Ask Tuffy Luv. tuffyluvcc [at] gmail [dot] com