#AaronCarterHornyLevel Is Trending On Twitter [Sugar Binge]

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There is an unexplainable hash tag trending on Twitter in reference to Aaron Carter . . .  specifically Aaron Carter’s horny level. What exactly is a “horny level”? From what I gather, it is the amount of horniness Aaron Carter is currently experiencing. I have no idea why Twitter is demanding to know how horny or unhorny Aaron Carter is since he hasn’t been relevant since 2002. Here is just a taste of the amazing, crafted Tweets we’ve been experiencing. They are an experience. 

• Why aren’t there more couples where the woman is taller than dude? What’s the big deal

“Because everyone knows men are taller on average, straight couples in which the man is shorter raise a problem of gender performance. That is, the man might not be seen as a real man, the woman as a real woman, if they don’t (together) display the normal pattern. To prevent this embarrassment, some couples in which the wife is taller might choose to be photographed with the man standing on a step behind the woman, or they might have their wedding celebrated with a commemorative stamp showing her practically on her knees—as the British royals did with Charles and Diana, who were both the same height: five foot ten.”

Is anyone else sick of gender norms? Would I date a shorter guy? I don’t know if I would and that is terrible. I am brainwashed. Folk that shift. Let’s unlearn all of our stupid, arbitrary hang ups, mkay?

• Michelle, of Destiny’s Child fame, is going around telling people the Super Bowl performance is not going to happen because she is, like, so busy that day.

“That’s not confirmed. It is rumoured. I’m gonna be in the musical Fela! I hate to disappoint the people and tell them that it’s not true.”

Gawker is reporting that according to the Fela! website Michelle is going to be in the musical on the days before and of the Super Bowl. oooOooo. I heard a rumor about you, Michelle.

• Hulk Hogan Tweeted a creepy picture of his daughter, Brooke’s, legs. 

hulk

• Courtney Love covered, “99 Problems” for some reason . . .

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