Beyonce hosted an entire press conference just to tell us she can actually sing, although she did in fact lip-sync during the Inauguration. Bey said, “I am a perfectionist. I practice till my feet bleed,” she explained. “I didn’t have time to practice with the orchestra. So due to the weather, due to the delay, due to no proper sound check, I did not feel comfortable taking the risk.” Then she proceeded to sing the national anthem so that we would all STFU about whether her siren-like abilities were real or mythical.
• The European Union has banned all testing on animals. Good.
• Rebel Wilson has a line of plus-sized t-shirts. I’d love to wear donuts on my boobies. Just saying.
• Lena Dunham is in talks to develop a new HBO series about the infamous, personal shopper Betty Halbreich.
“The pay cable network has optioned All Dressed Up And Everywhere To Go, the upcoming memoir by long-time Bergdorf Goodman personal shopper and New York institution Betty Halbreich. Dunham and Konner plan to write together the TV project, which will delve into the life of Halbreich who has spent decades working with the rich and famous.”
I can’t imagine Lena writing about anyone but herself, although perhaps maybe exactly what she needs is to write about someone other than herself.
• Heidi and Spencer earned and spent $10 million because they “heard” the world was going to end in 2012. Now they are totally broke and remain totally stupid.
“We made and spent at least 10 million dollars. The thing is, we heard that the planet was going to end in 2012. We thought, we have got to spend this money before the asteroid hits. Here’s some advice, definitely do not spend your money thinking asteroids are coming. But the world didn’t end. I would give my friends $15,000 for their birthday. Just cash. I would buy people cars. Every valet I met got a couple of hundred pounds tip. I would pay people $200 just to open doors for us.”
WOW. Choose your role models wisely, kiddos.