Frontin’ For His Friends and Followers [Diary of the Undateable]

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undateable

One of my fav songs from 2003 is “Frontin’” by Pharrell. Not just because he looked totally hot in the video or because Jay-Z spit a few bars on the track…but because they break down the thought process of a guy who likes to pretend in front of his friends.

Every time your name was brought up, I would act all nonchalant in front of an audience like if you was just another shorty I put the naughty on. But uh, truth be told you threw me for a loop, this Hov. I’m too old to be frontin’ what I’m feeling, Denzelin’, acting like you ain’t appealing when you are…

So I know someone who’s been dealing with this guy for a few months now, right? He liked her way more than she liked him. Anyway, things started to fizzle and they got into an argument via text. She reallyyyyy let him have it. And next thing she knew, bits and pieces of her tirade were screenshot and blasted on his Twitter timeline – where he acted and said things that he NEVER said in real life. I’m still cringing for her.

I remember back in the day, like in elementary school, when this boy named Shawn wouldn’t leave me alone. He’d pick on me and push me down and give me hell whenever he felt it was necessary. I’d come home, pigtails askew and uniform disheveled, and cry to Mama Undateable about the whole thing. Why is he being so mean? And then she’d gently explain that the reason why Shawn was acting out is because he liked me. Liked me liked me. And it turns out that he did.  After that, my little wheels in my little head began turning and I naturally assumed that any boy who treated me unfavorably in front of his friends and like a princess everywhere else had a thing for me.

Luckily, I know better now…but I still see some of the same behaviors from my playground days. Guys bragging – online and offline, too – about this girl chasing him and that girl who he’s playing, unapologetically. Memes about how she wants the D. Instagram screenshots from girls like my friend who was pouring out her heart on one end…while he was laughing at her expense on the other. Not saying that ladies don’t do it too…but still.

Social media matters. Duh. Employers search us on Facebook and job applications ask us about our Klout scores. Some people even have their grandmothers on their friend lists! So yes, it’s important to put your best foot forward online. But I don’t think it’s necessary to be all Catfish, front and change up your entire persona for some notoriety or a few laughs. But maybe I’m just following the wrong people.

When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea moonlights as a print journalism major at the REAL HU, Howard University. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.

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