A Valentine’s Day Card for “When You’re Kind of Together But It’s Not A Big Deal”

If I could boil down all my frustrations, my exasperated gchats with friends, my wine-fueled rants, my shower cry seshes into one Valentine’s Day card, this would be it. Since when did caring — and admitting to caring — about someone become such a taboo act? We’re twenty-somethings during a time when it’s perfectly acceptable to walk down the street telling your friends at full volume how you woke up naked in a stranger’s bed. Discussing your blow job technique on Facebook is par for the course. Posting revealing selfies to Instagram is just part of a typical Sunday morning. We’ve basically torn down the walls of traditionally taboo acts and made them not only commonplace, but extremely public as well.


So I ask again, why do we still have such a problem being equally as open and honest when it comes to feelings? Going out on the limb of “I like you, do you like me?” is such a terrifying concept. (Even to me some days. I’m just as guilty as everyone else here.) One Etsy user sought to put a band-aid on the problem by creating a card that all but says, “Don’t laugh at me while I’m trying my hand at vulnerability.” The description for the card reads:

What do you give the person you’re sort of dating, but not DATING dating, on Valentine’s Day? You could give them a regular card while making a long, awkward speech about how, you know, it’s not that big of a deal or anything — or you could just give them this card.

This card is the epitome of insecurity. No one should be giving this to anyone. The card is more awkward than any stuttered, mumbled I sorta like you and think you smell like cupcakes and happiness sentiment. Look at us! We’ve become romantically incompetent, all under the guise of playing it cool. Like playing it cool is the only thing that can save us from ourselves and these effing reckless emotions that just won’t go away no matter how hard we try. The thing is, though, that being unfeeling and, like, totally chill with, um, like, whatever you want isn’t getting us anywhere. Can we please stop trying to play it cool with our crushes? Cool gets you a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, a copy of The Notebook on DVD and a cheap bottle of champagne. Cool certainly isn’t getting him to like you or notice you or want to have sex with only you forever and ever.

This Valentine’s Day, for the love of God, let’s try to be a little less “cool” and a little more real. Mmm’kay?



  1. Shanthi says:

    It's so sad yet so true what you said about how we can go down a street yelling at the top of our lungs about how we ended up in a stranger's bed but we can't tell our crushes about how we feel. I guess that's what being human is about- we can't stand to get hurt and be vulnerable :-/

  2. So very true. I think rejection is one of the hardest things anyone has to go through. Especially when it comes to romance.

  3. zajface says:

    How exhausting!

  4. jlhpisces says:

    I love this card and I think anyone in that sort of a situation will "get it" without it being awkward.

  5. […] strange to me is, as Editor Alex pointed out in her post about Valentine’s Day when you’re “kind of” dating, when did it become okay to toast at brunch and not reveal our feelings? We live in a world where […]

  6. jack says:

    It was really helpful that you are sharing this details to your readers, I do personally having a worth while in the article. Thanks for sharing such good release.

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