Recap: Girls Season 2, Episode 5 [A Bro’s Thoughts]

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So it’s finally happened. I finally think Girls has gone off the deep end. Sure, this may have been a one-off episode, in fact, something like this may never happen again in the series. But the amount of WTF and head shaking I just experienced through the last 30 minutes of television is something that, frankly, is unforgivable. No wonder Lena Dunham took the night off and went to the Grammys. She knows how stupid this episode is and how she either just pulled the biggest, most self-aware LOL in all of our faces, or she really thinks she’s, like, the next Godard for women of the 22nd century.

In Which Hannah Is Looked At As This Sexual Being And I Just Can’t Buy It

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I remember an ill-fated series called Best Friends Forever on NBC. It only lasted 6 episodes and I only watched one with a girl I was kind of seeing, kind of banging, but would sit through shitty on demand episodes for. (What do you call that? Dating?) Anyway, the single episode of this series that I watched had a guy explain that in order to have more fun and more sex in your life, you have to “Let things get weird.” Now when I heard that, there was no epiphany, no sense of entitlement, but I’ll be damned if I haven’t let that saying slip into my life more and more. I’m all for making the ill-advised trip to some random girl’s friend’s party that you met in the bathroom of a bar because she wanted a cleaner stall to do lines in. I’m all for while you’re at said loft party, ditching the girl who brought you there because some dude said there’s a Russian Roulette version of Connect Four going on and you want to see what that is – I’m all for actually joining that game of Russian Roulette Connect Four. I’m all for then,  after winning or losing that said game of Russian Roulette Connect Four, finding bathroom stall girl and asking if she wants to go back to her place. You see where I’m going with this?

But how does this relate to Girls, you ask? Because even as Hannah narrates out loud to, guest star Patrick Wilson’s character, Joshua’s face that he could be a murderer but she’s going to come into his house anyway because it’s really nice and she is really superficial, that’s letting the weirdness go too far. Because if I was Joshua when Hannah kissed me, I wouldn’t be struck with this sexual vibe that would want to make me keep her locked up in my house for 2 days as a fuck toy. No. I’d be like, ‘Hey, you’re the weird girl who stood behind the douche-bag I got into a fight with at coffee shop. I’m going through a divorce. Why are you kissing me?’ BECAUSE THAT’S THE LOGICAL THING TO DO. Letting it get weird is great at certain points. But creepy/stalker/murder vibes are not, and that’s all I got throughout this episode. Maybe I’m reading it wrong. But whatever.

In Which Nite Owl From Watchmen Has Degraded Himself To This And It Breaks My Heart

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I guess as an audience we were supposed to be more into the idea and materialism that Joshua brought into Hannah’s life than Joshua the person. I just don’t understand how exactly this role got into the hands of an actor like Patrick Wilson. I mean he’s a face. He’s been in successful movies. He had his own show for a bit. How exactly does ‘Girls is doing a weird episode where a dude slightly kidnaps Hannah for the whole thing. You wanna be that dude?’ be a a legit conversation in Patrick Wilson’s life? The surprising part is that even though I hated it, you know there are going to be people who laud this episode as one of the best things Lena Dunham has ever done. While the use of the guess spot is irrevocably lost on me, I think the dullness of the episode along with the randomness of this guest spot needs to be discussed.

In Which Passing Out In A Shower And Discussing Your Feelings Is A Way To Get Unkidnapped

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The biggest piece we need to take away from this episode is Hannah’s monologue about how she ‘wants to be happy.’ Hannah has apparently martyred her feelings in the essence of living her best life. Or something. I got kind of lost in the middle of it all, to be honest. I think it’s common knowledge that everyone wants to be happy. In the previous episodes, Hannah was legit getting paid to go on coke binges, banging Donald Glover, and hosted a dinner party where all of her friends realized how shitty they’re doing in comparison to her. How exactly isn’t Hannah happy as a 24-year-old? She was re-hashing all of these habits and weirdly grotesque stories about her past that completely will lose any guy no matter what and I feel like she should have known that. Like the cumshot chest punch? WTF. (I think that’s when she lost me, to be honest.)

But the the thing that bothered me the most was that Joshua still let Hannah stay in his house after all of that, Hannah then cleaned his house and then left like those past 2 days were like nothing at all. Do girls really do that? I’m all about the stay-cation ideal, but the whole random dude creepiness vibe isn’t exactly safe/normal. But I also never faux-kidnapped someone as a sex toy. Can someone please explain the ending of this episode to me? Seriously. I need help here. I feel like there’s meaning behind Hannah taking out his trash but I just can’t grasp it. Maybe it’s too, like, deep for me or something.

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Anyway, after this and the lackluster night at the Grammys (I’m looking at you guys for NOT giving Frank Ocean all of the awards): what a bummer of a Sunday night. This Girls episode once again proves that every time the series decided to take a step forward, they take two steps back. It’s frustrating. I did dig the music in the episode though. It was very Louie-esque and well, who doesn’t love Louie? Check out the preview for next week below and hit me up on Twitter or in the comments to let me know if you thought this episode sucked too.

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