Being Single’s Not So Bad [Diary of the Undateable]

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    Posted in Dating, Love

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You know, I really thought that Valentine’s Day would be a toughie for me. Short of the candy grams I exchanged in elementary school or the pink frosted baked goods my mom makes, I’ve never had a “real” valentine or a prospect on the 14th of February. Mama Undateable actually wanted to give birth to me on the 14th and ever since ’91, I’ve been two days late and a few dollars short every year. I already had a single girl game-plan sketched out that included cutting through hand-in-hand couples on the sidewalk, pointedly glaring at various public displays of affection, listening to my “Bitter” iTunes playlist (with Kelis, Luther Vandross and 808s & Heartbreak-era Kanye) and drowning my sorrows in a bottle of Trader Joe’s finest $7 bubbly. My friend Lenia, who’s also single, said no to all that.

“We have to do something!” she said. “I don’t want to be in the house that night.”

I’m sure that she could’ve gone on a date or found one, or she could’ve stayed home and sulked like I was going to. But nope – two single friends had dinner at one shabbily-chic diner and shared a cab home. There wasn’t any pressure to find the perfect outfit to dazzle a dude and there was no stressing about what to buy him. I didn’t have to rush down to Georgetown Cupcake for a lover’s dozen or hustle for exclusive dinner reservations at somewhere swanky. Honestly, it was really nice.

Around this time of year, I think that single girls band together and unite in our single girly-ness. Not going to front – I did a little bit of hating and shading yesterday. But there was also comfort in the fact that I wasn’t alone in being alone.

I’m finally seeing the fun in being single. Maybe it’s because I’ve been so for so long, but it’s no longer a stigma for me. I used to cringe at the times when nosy family members would pry about my love life. I’d hate being the only one who didn’t have boy drama to discuss among my girlfriends. And I’d faithfully stay in on Friday and Saturday nights, the days designated for D.C. lovers. Now, it’s not so shameful to be single.

I still live for my single girl dates – dinners, a movie or even the occasional cocktail by myself. These days, I see the power in numbers. I have friends who’ve offered to hook me up with their cousins, brothers and friends of their boyfriends. I get to complain freely about the sucky guys I meet and the good ones I haven’t found – and there are people who relate to me! Single girl camaraderie is definitely a bright spot of sunshine in the midst of cold days and cute couples. It doesn’t necessarily take the place of a guy to talk to or cuddle with…but it does make those lonesome days a lot passable.

Not saying that I don’t have my “wtf is wrong with me?” days or times when I wish I was attached. But right now, I’m living in the moment and just enjoying the company of all the single ladies.

CollegeCandy, what do you guys like about being single?

When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea moonlights as a print journalism major at the REAL HU, Howard University. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.

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