Miley added too many shimmery highlights to her hair and now it looks kind of silvery. Upon reportage the internet immediately became rampant with judgments and retweets! I think she looks good. The young starlet promptly corrected news outlets who thought her hair might be blue, purple or silver.
• In lady news, 1 in 6 female students in Princeton reported to have had been penetrated without consent. The news comes from an unreleased study from 2008 that was recently leaked to the school’s newspaper.
“According to the survey, more than 28 percent of female undergraduate students reported that they were touched in a sexual manner or had their clothes removed without consent. About 12 percent said they were forced to receive or perform oral sex, and an additional 14 percent were said they were victims of attempted forced oral sex. Another 6.2 percent of female undergraduate respondents said they experienced attempted non-consensual vaginal penetration. Of the 809 female undergraduates who filled out the undergraduate female survey, more than 120 answered affirmatively to the statement, “A man put his penis into my vagina, or someone inserted fingers or objects without my consent.”
Just terrible but unfortunately very much in line with national statistics.
• Turns out that lady who was going to let the internet name her baby for $5K was just a hoax.
AC: Oh, I was just REALLY horny. I just wanted to have sex with someone.
BuzzFeed: So, this tweet has prompted people to constantly ask you your “horny level”, I don’t know if you’ve seen that.
AC: Ooooohhh, yes, what the hell. Is that what they’re talking about? It hasn’t stopped! I’ve been giving it no attention, but I see like two tweets.
BF: So the Internet wants to know: what was your horny level when you made this tweet?
AC: Phhhhstt, TEN. No, TWENTY!
TWENTY! I guess that’s a lot . . .