I’m pretty secure with my body, but I know there are some areas I could use to tone up. (Shout out to my Kardashian butt!) When I have sex, it’s pretty inevitable that my less-firm parts take center stage and I’m worried it’s a turn off to guys. To help calm my fears — or maybe reinforce them — I need to ask: What part of women’s bodies do men tend to look at during sex?”
Hitting the Gym
Dear Hitting the Gym,
This, is, the, BEST question I’ve ever not been able to answer. I want you to know that upon receiving this I went and had sex with a brand new awareness. I then took this question to several friends, and of those who had sex before I started writing my response, THEY were having it with a newfound awareness.
Honestly? In the heat of the moment, it probably depends on the position. If it’s doggy then, yeah, we’re taking stock of your ass. If it’s missionary, it’s all about the boobs. If it’s cowgirl, then, we’re going to take your midsection more into account but still it’ll mostly be about your boobs. Archer? Well, we’re more worried about falling.
Men are in the same boat. No matter how toned you are, there are certain ways of sitting and laying down that make you look like you’ve got love handles. Even if you’re Ryan Reynolds. Some positions don’t show you in your best light. And you’ll end up in them at some point so don’t go pretending like you can perpetually avoid them all. You can’t. I can’t. No one can.
How much men notice the less-firm parts all depends on how into the sex he is. If he’s hot and heavy then he probably couldn’t care one iota. If he’s not in the moment, as it were, he might be surveying your body during. All depends on the guy and the level of intensity.
Push up bras are deceptive, so there’s always a little, let’s call it a “note” taken of the difference when tops are removed. Your jeans are going to make your butt look tighter so during reverse cow girl we might notice how far it is or isn’t dropping. But hey, this is a two-way street.
Our stomachs aren’t always as smooth or flat. Our asses drop, too! Our chest might not be as firm as our pecks through our shirt might make them out to be. Arms? Leaner or more gelatinous. And don’t even get me started on the state of our skin! Most guys don’t wear make up and when you see the pores that close up? Forget about it!
But here’s the flipside. When you peel back the layers and see the less perfect aspects of each other’s bodies and then have great sex, they don’t really matter. If the chemistry is there, the “first impressions” take a backseat. Then you start building up the intimacy and that’s when the sex goes from good to great, regardless of how less firm your ass is than it appears to be in those jeans.
With hairline receding,
[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]