Does His ‘Number’ Really Matter? [He Said/She Said]

Let’s get real. No matter what anyone says, people are going to be curious about other people’s number of sexual partners. Why? Because we are all nosy, nosy people and it’s interesting. It’s double the amount of interesting if you’re dating the person whose number you’re curious about. But while finally popping the question – ‘exactly how many people have you slept with, by the way?’ – may satisfy your curiosity, it can also lead to some complications. A higher number than you were expecting makes you wonder if you really know the guy, and can make you feel jealous or inexperienced. A surprisingly low number can make you view someone as less of a stud and more of a sweet, innocent boy. But should someone’s number actually matter?

At the end of the day, you can’t base your view of someone solely on the number of people they’ve banged. You know what’s even more interesting than someone’s number? The story behind it. Maybe someone had a period of f***ing anything with a pulse because they were getting over their last girlfriend, or chose not to have sex until later on in their life because they wanted to wait to lose their virginity to someone special. Don’t dismiss someone just because of a number, always ask for some context. It doesn’t matter if someone’s had sex with three people or thirty, what matters is how and why. Believe me, someone who’s only had sex with 2 people can be just as much of an asshole as someone who’s had sex with twenty.

That being said, it’s also not a good idea to completely disregard someone’s sexual past. If a guy tells you he ‘respects the art of love-making’ or ‘believes in sex only between two people truly in love’, but has had sex with 50 different girls, he might not be the best guy to be dating. I guess it’s just about using a careful combination of common sense, intuition, and conversation. Ask questions, don’t make snap judgements, but know when a number and its explanation just doesn’t add up and get out of there. Be delicate, and treat everyone’s number as you’d like people to treat yours.

Do you think someone’s number should matter? Leave a comment below and click here to see what He Said!

[Lead image via michaeljung/Shutterstock]

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  1. eroticzeitgeist says:

    I don’t think the number should matter. But if it is significantly higher than “normal” then it will raise some questions…

  2. danielletee says:

    "someone who’s only had sex with 2 people can be just as much of an asshole as someone who’s had sex with twenty" VERY, very, very true.

  3. Mark says:

    What about amount of sex in total? My number is low – about 5 different girls.. and of those, probably 3 out of 5 were long term relationships, but we had amazing chemistry where we just bang, bang, banged allll the time. So I consider myself pretty experienced since I've done most anything you can do in the bedroom. I'm not a man-whore, but so what, there's probably plenty of serial one-nighters who are just one pump chumps. And vice versa. Quality over quantity as far as numbers are concerned.

  4. cliff says:

    When I heard someone say around 150 or so….i was surprised…

  5. Soup says:

    so i will ask the question. what is a "normal" number?

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  7. Canis Maximus says:

    When a person provides "the number", the best way to get an accurate figure is square the number for girls and take the square root for guys. Don't care about my wife's number, and she doesn't care about mine, but we both like to hear about each other's memorable moments with sexual partners.

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