Farrah Abraham’s Oral Skills Were a Fail, So Let’s Talk About How to Really Get It Done [Sexy Time]

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So I watched “Teen Mom” Farrah Abraham’s sex tape/porno/whatever with James Deen (yes, I’m part of the problem) and I, like others, couldn’t help but notice Farrah was having difficulty getting James completely erect via oral. That is…embarrassing, to say the least. It’s one thing to be blowing the flaccid mass of a guy who’s wasted or high or whatever because that’s out of your control. But when you can’t get a dude whose job it is to get hard on command excited…it’s a bit of a problem.

If you watched Farrah’s performance and didn’t even bat an eyelash upon seeing that James was only semi-hard, this post is for you. While there are guys out there who genuinely don’t care for oral, I think it’s a pretty safe assumption that most do. Luckily, giving enjoyable head to a guy is a fairly easy-ish endeavor. (Though, ladies with sensitive gag reflexes/jaw tension, I totally feel your pain). Every guy is different, but if you’re new to doing it or want a refresher, here are some general guidelines to experiment with (no scrunchies required).

1. Work your tongue

I’m not going to use the ice cream cone metaphor because who actually licks those anyway? Though if pretending a penis is food works for you, then go for it. Anyway, alternate between slow, long licks and light, teasing strokes. If he tends to react to one over the other, then stick with the one he prefers the majority of time, but tease him with the other method as well.

2. Embrace the tip

While deep throating is an admirable skill, it’s just not sustainable for a lot of us. And that’s fine. The majority of the nerve endings are at the head of his shaft.

3. Play with pacing
Doing the same move over and over again is repetitive for both him and you. Alternate between fast and slow, aggressive and leisurely and keep him engaged and on his toes.

4. Use your hands

Play with his balls or stroke his shaft while your mouth is occupied with his goods. Or, give him a handy while your mouth is playing with his balls. Or ignore the balls and focus all your attention on his, as Cosmo would say, member. Whatever it is you do, use a multi-faceted approach. Your mouth is just one part of the puzzle.

5. Make it wet

That whole porno spit-on-his-d*ck thing is not hot to me, but if it is to you and your dude, do it. I prefer to make sure my mouth is wet and transfer that wetness to his c*ck via sucking. Friction is usually not appealing.

Most importantly, be enthusiastic. You don’t have to pretend it’s your favorite activity in the world, but hopefully you find it a bit pleasure to give someone else a good time. It’s hot to feel like someone else is invested in getting you off, so if nothing else, have a little fun.

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