I Have A Hair On My Boob

I have a hair on my boob. Just one. A single hair above the nip, that’s about a centimeter or two long. It dangles. It taunts me. I go from being indifferent about my single boob hair to wondering if inside of my boob I have one of those scary-cancer-hairball-tumor things.

A guy I used to bone ripped it out once. He finds this hilarious. It is hilarious because what he doesn’t know is that this a tell-tale sign that I am becoming a wolf.

Those who mock the titty wolf hair will be ravenously savaged.

Sometimes I comb it.

Sometimes I pretend my boobs are lasers in the shower and point them at things and shout, “pew pew.” The boob hair distorts the image that my cha-chas are laser beams. It saddens me.

Sometimes I pluck it.

Sometimes I wish I had health insurance so I can get a mammogram.

I read somewhere it’s common to have boob hair but is it common to half wolf boob hair? I don’t have a primary care physician so I’ll never know.

I have course hair but relax it so it is less so. I do not relax my boob hair. It dangles like a spiral.

It curves at the end and looks like the leg of a daddy long leg spider.

I googled searched “boob hair” and there was no fill-in. I can only assume I am the only person on the planet with boob hair or who is a wolf. This saddens me.


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  1. Ariel says:

    LMAO i found this post strangely hilarious. But i kinda low key adore all of your posts Emerald.

  2. Nina says:

    wow I have lots of boob hair and I pluck it regularly. fml.

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  4. TT says:

    Omg!! This completely made my day! Haha

    No worries you are not.Alone. i have one boob hair too! Lol M. boyfriend thinks its hilarious. Aparently if he ever has to identify my body thats one if the first things he’ll search for -_- lol

  5. Phoebe says:

    Haha can totally relate. And as for the google thing, I think that that's intentional for google not to autofill on what it deems to be not entirely appropriate (granted, this is based on anecdotal evidence only). Like try searching for certain sex acts, and it will not autofill there either.

  6. KK:) says:

    Gross picture!! ewww!

  7. arif says:

    hm…no comment!

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