I pee in public probably more than I should because it’s sort of illegal. But good god I am not embarrassed to whip the old vag out and spritz against a wall when I have too. My entire experience studying abroad can be summed up in the places I’ve peed. It really is marking your territory. A trail of my scent peppered through Western Europe like a seasoned curly fry.
That Time I Cry-Peed On The Stoop Of A Bank
When I was in London, I had a meltdown one day. My “abroad friends” and I were going to a dance club. I pre-gamed a little too much, they were being jerks, so I flipped them the bird and ran off. I had no money or phone, somehow. I had no idea where I was and just cried and walked. I peed on the stoop of a bank. I sat next to my pee, crying. Some guy came over and asked if I was OK and if he should stay/help/etc. To that I said, “You better not rape me!” (I am from NYC. I can’t help it.) He walked away and then came back, saying he couldn’t just leave me there, then paid for a cab. People are nice sometimes!
That Time I Pee-Yelled And Got Black Out Drunk
When I went to Barcelona I got black-out drunk for the first time. I was there with my new friend and partner in crime. I had gotten so drunk that I was pissing and moaning, literally everywhere. I remember pissing in the Gothic Quarter and yelling at my new friend, “I don’t know who you are! You don’t know where we are going.” He stayed with me despite my constant, pissing, puking, and yelling. People are nice: often!
That Time I Peed At An Interpass And Flashed My Vag To Drivers
I thought I was being discreet when I peed behind a bush in the middle of the highway. It was only discreet from one angle.
That Time I Didn’t Crouch Down Far Enough
I leaned up against a building in the East Village. I pissed all over myself. I stumbled home. I WAS LIBERATED.
That Time My Friend Peed In A Big Gulp Cup That Wasn’t Big Enough
My friend and I were in Queens, locked out of her grandma’s house. We had to go. We had just come from 7/11. She poured out her slurpee and began to pee in the cup. The cup wasn’t big enough. She peed all over her grandma’s petunias or whatever flowers were in that garden. Oh well.
So I want to know: do you pee in public? Do you do it often? Has anything embarrassing ever happened? Let me know! I am sharing my soul here.