Your First Visit to the GYNO Was Probably Like This

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Ah, growing up. In every young woman’s life, there comes a time when she must become acquainted with the special lady doctor: the gynecologist. Whether it’s because you went all the way with that cute boy or girl your parents hated…

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Or because your pediatrician was finally like,

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The time had come for you to set out on your journey.

leaving

You VERY CALMLY called to make an appointment.

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But really you were like:

freaking-out

In the days before your appointment, you realized that you didn’t really know what to expect. So of course, you turned to the internet.

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You read the “pelvic exam” pages on WebMD, the Mayo Clinic, and Wikipedia, and, and and….

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You also followed all the links (rookie mistake), and became convinced you had about 10 million different diseases.

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But like it or not, it’s time. You show up at the doctor’s office…

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And fill out a million forms.

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After waiting forever, a nurse comes to take you back to the exam room. When she tells you to take off your clothes and put on that awful gown, you’re like:

marilyn-monroe-yuck-

Is it just you, or is this exam room freezing?

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Finally, the doctor comes in. She asks you how many people you’ve had sex with in the last year:

flirting-awkwardly

You suddenly get a terrible case of verbal diarrhea and blurt out a bunch of questions really, really quickly.

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Then she asks you to get into position so she can start the exam.

maybe-not

And tries to chat casually with you while getting really, really intimate. Not to mention causing you considerable physical discomfort.

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But if she stops talking, you’re like, SAY SOMETHING.

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It feels like it’s been ages:

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And you’ve experienced a whole lot of poking and prodding in ways you never thought possible.

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But finally, it’s OVER. You’re ready to be like:

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But you stay cool (maybe too cool?).

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After all, it is a rite of passage. Nervous? Hell no, you weren’t.

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And then you leave with whatever small shred of dignity you have left.

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Garnet is a recent graduate of Columbia University. She is “that person” who starts dancing at a party when everyone else is standing around, and if there were a Facebook stalking Olympics, she would be a gold medalist. She also loves cheesy 90s music, and almost died of happiness when Vanilla Ice retweeted her. Once. Support her internet addiction @garnethenderson.

[Lead image via dabjola/Shutterstock]

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