At the University of Pennsylvania, the NY Times interviewed 60 female students over a year and found that hookup culture is often a strategy for ambitious young woman. Basically, some ladies are k-k-kinda busy pursuing their careers and aspirations and realizing that they don’t have time for a permanent relationship, opt for casual sex as a means of gratification. Makes sense to me and I can testify to this. If the BF/GF life isn’t for you at the time, it’s 2013, you don’t have to stop getting laid.
The NY Times reports, “They saw building their résumés, not finding boyfriends (never mind husbands), as their main job at Penn. They envisioned their 20s as a period of unencumbered striving, when they might work at a bank in Hong Kong one year, then go to business school, then move to a corporate job in New York. The idea of lugging a relationship through all those transitions was hard for many to imagine. Almost universally, the women said they did not plan to marry until their late 20s or early 30s.”
Atlantic writer, Conor Friedersdorf, argues that when you don’t invest yourself in relationships early on in life, it is more difficult later in life to form a lasting relationship because the ones you form in adolescence teach you invaluable lessons. What Friedersdorf fails to acknowledge is . . . oh well, I’ll just get married later in life, if that’s what I even want. While it’s true that the earlier you practice something the more likely you’ll be better at it, everyone is on their own path. Fridersdorf suggests that it is most common for people to marry in their late twenties and early thirties, which is probably statistically true. However, we should perhaps stop categorizing some people as “late bloomers.” Some people choose companionship as a priority, while others choose a career.
There is a trade off, if you decide that a trade off is necessary. What exactly is the big deal? Of course, if you want to get married by a certain age and cannot, this may personally be disheartening for you, but if someone doesn’t get married until they’ve settled into their career at 45 years old that’s their prerogative and if they find that they’ve been emotionally stunted well then that’s no worse than a husband or wife who quits their job to benefit their spouse and children then decides to go back to work after a decade. We make our beds, we lie in them. If hookup culture is working for us HBICs then why not?
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