The only thing more frustrating than dating in the 21st century is texting in the 21st century. Especially when the person you are texting is your crush. There is a definite set of rules to texting your crush, a detailed map of how to get him to think you are amazingly witty but also too busy to be sitting by your phone waiting for him. The only problem is no one seems to have a copy of this list of rules. So, until someone finds this ancient document and saves us all, our texting relationships are bound to go like this.
You’re out with your friends and the only guys in the bar that have come up to you either resemble your uncle Jimmy with the lazy eye or make you seriously take a second look at your sexuality. One asks to buy you a drink and you’re all:
Weirdo Guy finally leaves and you’re thinking about packing it up and calling it a night. Until you see him. He’s the Ryan Gosling of your night. And you’re like:
So you suit up and casually walk past him.
By some stroke of luck, you guys end up talking and hit it off. And the whole time you’re like just ask for my number, ask for my number, ASK. FOR. MY. NUMBER!
The bar is about to close and finally he decides to ask for your number.
Your friends welcome you back.
Now, here’s when the real work starts. It’s the next morning and you have no unread text messages. But, you’re not sweating it.
Until the next night when there is still no red 1 appearing in the corner of your phone.
Your friends are all like:
And then the gods smile down on you and your phone buzzes. It’s him. You’re friends have changed their tune.
But you’re cool so you’re like:
But on the inside…