Will He Notice The Extra Pounds? [Ask A Dude]

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askadude

Dear Dude,

I hooked up with a guy awhile ago and it was amazing. But, shortly after he had to leave town for work. We’ve kept in touch, but he’s been gone about four months and I’ve put on a bit of weight. He’s coming back soon and has said he’d like to reconnect, but I’m worried about what he’ll think. Will he notice? Or care if he does?

-Hesitant

Dear Hesitant,

Guys notice a weight gain but it’s like anybody else who does — it all kind of depends on how much weight you’ve put on. And of course how you’re holding your weight which could put you in the Christina Hendricks echelon and goodness knows that’s a great echelon to be on.

We notice. It’s hard not to. However, you shouldn’t let that be a source of worry. If he’s hooked up with you and wants to reconnect I highly doubt he’ll care. Things were obviously pretty damn good the first time around. Once our ardor’s been stirred, the cosmetic stuff has less importance. Unless he’s a D-bag, but hopefully he isn’t. If he is then the less interaction the better.

We all get insecure when it comes to weight gain. We’re told that thin and toned is what’s sexy. Like it or not, physical attraction is part of what gets us to want to push our ugly bits together in the first place. We use our eyes, so sue us. Generally, once you’ve, you know, talked and more, the attraction grows from purely physical. So those little weight fluctuations become insignificant. The big thing that gets in the way is us freaking out about them.

We are our own worst enemies. Confidence is sexy. Insecurity, eh, usually not. This isn’t, like, a rule per se but it’s pretty well proven. Me telling you not to worry isn’t going to completely quiet the little prick in your head that’s making you hesitant. You have to own how you look and own the fact that he’s coming back wanting more. Use that to bolster your confidence. It should and deserves to.

Don’t hesitate. If you want to reconnect then definitely set it up. Our weight fluctuates. If it’ll make you feel better you can take a few steps between now and then to work on it. Go running, watch the calorie intake for a bit, and cut down on the beer. Buy yourself something that celebrates and shows off your voluptuousness. Sometimes trying to make the body we have contour to the look the body we had can hurt our confidence. You’re still the hottie that he wanted to hook up with in the first place. Don’t push that out of your mind. Don’t let a few pounds beat you, own them and take steps towards managing them. That sense of being proactive will do wonders to getting your groove back and by the time you see him again you’ll be feeling like your sexy self.

Don’t have trouble with the curves,

The Dude

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]

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