XOJane is notorious for posting sensational, extremist, non-traditional content, so when I saw that they published Sydney Leathers‘ guide to sexting politicians I was all like, “This is going to be an entertaining read!” I never actually expected to nod in agreement with 99% of it. Ladies, Sydney speaks the TRUTH.
For those of you who don’t recognize the name, this is the woman Anthony Weiner has been sexting and sexy FB messaging (do we have a term for that yet?). I admittedly don’t know a ton about her, but I do know that she’s got a porno coming out soon and has leveraged those now infamous texts into a shitstorm of publicity. Judge her actions all you want — the criticism she’s getting is absolutely fair. At the end of the day, she seduced a married man and father who lives his life in the public eye. That ain’t right. But while she might not be a moral compass or an academic scholar, she’s definitely one smart woman.
I receive countless relationship books each week from publishers, and all of them are crap. Sydney’s approach to sexting politicians, however, is so simple and really kind of obvious. But that’s exactly what makes it great — this is advice that can be applied to all men. Case in point:
#1: Indulge his crazy alter-ego, and whatever you do, don’t laugh at him. When in doubt, use a smiley-face and tell him you actually mean it.
Everyone has at least a little bit of a freaky side, and you shouldn’t humiliate or laugh at them for it. That’s human decency. That’s being mature. That, people, is good advice.
#2: Be a little coy first. Don’t be so aggressive.
He’s not going to take someone seriously who’s all over his D right out of the gate.
#3: Be prepared to make the first move, play on his ego and resist being sexual when he wants to be sexual. It will drive him crazy.
#4: Figure out his weaknesses early on. If he’s insecure, you’ve hit gold. Then torture him by playing hard to get.
#5: Make him jealous and then switch it up and make him feel secure. Kind of like “48 Laws of Power.” Politicians are in it to win it so always be in “flirting campaign mode.”
FLIRTING CAMPAIGN MODE. New favorite phrase. BRB guys, I gotta go work on my flirting campaign.
#6: Go for someone who you know is tempted by hot chicks online. Once he’s interested, find out his fetish as soon as you can.
Make sure you’re familiar and comfortable with the larger scope of what you’re working with.
#7: Give him more attention than he’s ever known from a woman. Tell him he is sexy, and be specific about why he is.
Tell me you’ve never been talking to a guy and he wants to know exactly what you like about his X, Y and Z. And by X, Y and Z I mean personality, body and penis. Don’t act like this isn’t real talk.
#8: Find a horny non-politician to finance all the expensive shoes and lingerie pics you’re sexting your politician boyfriend. Constantly, be painting a picture of yourself in your politician’s brain.
Okay, so this one doesn’t apply to the general population. Don’t get a sugar daddy, please.
#10 Alternate between innocent and vague, then dirty and specific, and occasionally throw in a mention of something political he did.
For the every-girl: Occasionally throw in a mention of something great he did in bed or something funny he said that you’re still laughing about. That’s flirting 101.
My best friend and I spent 20 minutes on Gchat talking about how great and true these tips were. Now, we’re both college educated women. We have no intention of ever mixing things up with politicians. She’s in a committed relationship; I’m…well…not, but I ain’t no ho either (but you do you, not hating on hoes). We’re just two pretty average ladies fighting the good fight, looking for some solid help wherever we can get it. And you know what? Game recognize game, Sydney Leathers.