The stereotype that women stop having sex once they get into a long-term relationship is totally overplayed, but I’ll admit that occasionally I fall into the trap of turning down sex with my boyfriend of three years. Sometimes it’s because I’m in a dark mental place and arousal is the last thing on my mind. And sometimes…my reasons are maybe less sympathetic. Which doesn’t really bother me because I don’t think there are any bad reasons to say no to sex.
If you’re not into it, you’re not into it. When you’re in a long term relationship and the future is fairly certain, there’s not that desperate urge to take advantage of every second together. Call it re-prioritizing. Here are five things I’ve declined relations with my boyfriend for.
And not only because I’m binge-watching a show I’ve never seen before. Sometimes I’ll fall into spirals where I’ll want to watch The Hills or Gossip Girl or [insert other show I've seen a billion times] and nothing can distract me from reliving the same fake drama over and over again.
Do you ever hear a song for the first time and then want to listen to it on repeat for 100 times in a row? Occasionally I’ll indulge that urge and not even a horny man is tempting enough to make me take out my headphones.
On occasion, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and start groping my boyfriend. Naturally, this tends to excite him and he’ll want to take it further, but then the sweet lull of losing consciousness creeps in and I have to decline my boyfriend’s advances.
One of my favorite things in the world is stumbling upon a blog I’ve never read before and devouring months or years of archived content. I’ll get so entranced and totally disengage from the world around me.
5. Pure laziness.
Yo, sex is legitimate work whether you’re on bottom or top. Getting penetrated, contorting my body, embracing my inner cowgirl…all of that requires effort. Effort that sometimes I’m just not willing to exert. #unapologetic