So recently in one of my Psych classes we were going over the 5 stages of grieving as it applies to death. When a loved one dies or a person is told that their time is almost up they go through denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Doesn’t that sound a lot like what you go through during a break up? Definitely the anger and depression. So voila, here are the 5 stages you go through mentally after a break up.
1. Denial- If you aren’t the one doing the breaking up, then denial is in your near future. In your mind you aren’t really broken up, just in a gray area until the other person comes to their senses. It doesn’t hit you for at least a week that whatever you had is really, really over. When people ask how you guys are you say fine, great, awesome, just so people will stop asking you about it. Fret not, friend, you only have four more stages to go through.
2. Anger- This is probably one of the most important stages to let yourself go through. You’re angry and you have a right to be. The jerk just broke up with you. Yell, scream, watch entire box sets of The OC, do whatever you have to do to make yourself feel better. Whatever you do, don’t go crazy. Anger is not an excuse for craziness, just ask the police department.
3. Bargaining- If anger is the most important stage, bargaining is the most pathetic. You think if I could just do this, then he will do that. If I could just change this one thing about me everything would be perfect. Wrong, oh so wrong. Whether it was one big thing or a zillion little things that drove your beau away, he ain’t coming back. You just have to rip the Band-Aid off and stop babying yourself. If you don’t you’ll wind up changing a bunch of “little things” about yourself and still alone.
4. Depression- Bring out the Ben and Jerry’s, you’re depressed. You sit in your room all day, maybe in the dark depending on how dramatic you are. You haven’t seen the outside for a week and anything that doesn’t deal with Desperate Housewives is a foreign concept. It’s okay. Let yourself be sad for a little while and then slowly reemerge yourself back into real life. You’ll be happy that you gave yourself time.
5. Acceptance- This may be the best out of all the stages. You are finally over it. No more wine nights with no one but yourself. You are ready to live it up and go back into the world without a significant other. Life is full of opportunities and potential new relationships. Once you accept the end of your previous relationship, the world is your oyster. So, go out there and live.
[Lead image via Aleshyn_Andrei/Shutterstock]