What’s the Deal With Guys Giving You the “Slow Fade”?

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I remember reading a really thought provoking post on here a few months back about “ghosting“. At the time I was like, “YES! YES! Mental hugs to this author because she is describing my life and the lives of my friends’ and even the life of my dog probably!” (Editor’s note: This is the original post on ghosting, written by Rebecca.) So basically the situation with ghosting is that you’ll be talking to a guy…you know – “talking to”/hooking up with/so on and so forth…and then he just disappears. POOF! Into thin air, the guy you thought you had a connection with totally up and vanishes.

Suddenly you’re sitting in front of an empty text inbox and that guy obviously does not know that you gave him the best blow job that you’ve ever given to anyone — because if he did he would not have taken that beautiful moment for granted. “Chivalry is dead!!!” your heart screams as you shake your fists skyward, “It’s dead!!!” Your love disappeared faster than a SnapChat.

So yeah, I’ve been a victim of ghosting, and it’s certainly no trip to Disney Land. Still, there’s something worse. Girls, have you been introduced to the Slow Fade yet? I can only liken it to being told you have a rare terminal disease, and then watching your sad body weaken each and every day, knowing there’s nothing you can do about it. The Slow Fade is when you meet a guy and you think he’s great. Confession: I have met a guy, and he is great. I still think so, even after I know what his game is. (Herein lies the ultimate cruelty of the Slow Fade. More on this in a moment.) You guys hang out, things are going amazingly, you have a really great banter routine down and conversation is so relaxed. You’re starting to envision “In a Relationship With” added to your Facebook profile, when suddenly…wait, did he not respond to my last text?

But this is not ghosting, remember. He eventually responds to you — six hours later. No big deal, you think. He was busy, you think. HE STILL LOVES ME, you think. You think. Then it happens again, and instead of taking six hours to respond, he takes a full two days. But his response is playful and funny, so you can’t hate him. He’s still your other half, meant to be, BFF, Pinterest engagement photos style crush. Of course you text an “LOL” so he knows you don’t mind him taking his time to reply. You’re the cool girl, you know he’s got his own life. Whatever. But then nothing — no response. Dead air. Maybe you try texting him again a few days later, but by this point communication efforts on his part have become few and far between, and you haven’t seen each other in over a month. And yet, the ultimate cruelty is that you can’t hate him. You remember the good times and the inside jokes. There was never a fight to dwell on, never any cruel words screamed over dollar pizza slices. Your love disappeared faster than a SnapChat.

“What’s happening?” you whisper to yourself, still looking at your quiet phone. I’ll tell you what’s happening. You’ve just been the victim of a perfectly executed Slow Fade. You are me, I am you…we’re in this together.

As a casualty of a recent Slow Fade, I’m pretty sure I’m 100% single and still waiting for that next text that isn’t coming. How is it possible to live with hope from one empty text to another? Do you think you could ever have a relationship built solely around texts? Because I think I could…my fingers are really fast. I guess that’s just a side note, though.

[Lead image via Aaron Amat/Shutterstock]

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