Do College Guys Want to Date Curvy Women? [Ask A Dude]

Dear Dude

I’m getting ready for college. And I was wondering if there was more of a selection there. I mean I’m a big girl, but I’m not grossly fat or anything, in fact I play basketball. What I’m trying to get at is, do guys like big girls? I am looking for a relationship and I want a really good looking guy — I don’t want to settle. So can you help me find the answer, Dude?


Nothin’ But Net

Dear Nothin’ But Net,

There are about three questions I can pick out of your write-in. Are there more selection of guys at college? Yup. Do guys like big girls? Some. Can I help you find a really good looking guy so that you don’t have to settle? That’s a bit complicated.

Firstly, yeah, there’s tons more selection of guys and gals when you move out of HS into secondary education. You’ll meet a ton of different people from different parts of the country with different upbringings and grooming habits and hairstyles and all that good stuff. There’s no fear of finding less selection, except in ultra rare circumstances.

Some guys love big girls. There are some who don’t. Oftentimes it matters less the more you get to know someone. Looks matter at first but they don’t always matter the same way. You can be beautiful to someone no matter your size. Some have a big girl preference while for others it can border on a fetish. Then again, there are guys out there who won’t give a big girl a chance and those are the guys you wouldn’t want to give a chance anyway.

Finally, what’s a good looking guy to you? Does he have to be tall? Do you mean George Clooney or Matt Smith? I’m a little unclear as to what your criteria actually is. I mean, if it all starts with finding a guy attractive then what turns you on? Are you just interested in what he looks like or are you attracted to, you know, who he is as a person? These are the questions I ponder and ask you to consider. Here’s something I can say for sure, confidence is sexy. If you’re not confident in who you are, in your size, in what you’ve got to bring to the table then you’re not going to be happy with whomever you attract.

Get it, got it, good?

The Dude

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]



    1. Mackenzie says:

      I don't disagree with the advice, but I can tell you something the Dude forgot to mention: in college, and in life (even if, indeed, confidence is good and by becoming friends with someone you might end up falling in love), looks make the whole process 1000x easier. Finding guys who don't date skinny, supermodel – type girls exclusively is hard. Then again, those are the guys you should go after and that are totally worth it. BUT I'm just saying, the experience of meeting guys/ potential dates is different for girls who are the tall, blonde, skinny supermodel types and those who are not… : ( I'm not saying that people who don't fit that mold aren't beautiful and sexy, it's just that, again, it's a matter of the guy's taste… and most guys would choose a playboy playmate instead of a girl-next-door.

    2. RAWR says:

      While it is hard to find men who haven't been corrupted by porn-culture, it is very satisfying to find one that makes that perception wrong. I stayed true to myself as the girl-next-door type. And I found someone truly amazing.

      But it took 5 years of kissing LOTS of frogs, casual dating, and rejecting those who didn't quite fit, along with them rejecting me for my commitment to keep my body for someone special.

      It also took my personal courage to try every form of meeting people and getting rejected imaginable. From parties, to bars, to classmates, to coffee shop/elevator conversations with strangers, to what finally worked for me: Online Dating.

      Try as many possible social scenarios to meet people. I have a friend that the bar scene worked, another that choose a classmate as a significant, myself needing online dating to get a larger pool than just my local area.
      Search in bulk because you don't know when you'll meet Mr. RIght, or even if your timing aligns with his, so you have to keep at it.

      Be healthy. YOUR healthy. Healthy people attract healthy people. Our society standard of healthy is unhealthy for both women (and men who drink only protein shakes).

      Being attractive/ stereotypically skinny will get you plenty of options, but remember that extreme beauty attracts a lot of beasts to sort through. The man that I fell for finds my unconventional short/hourglass/50's body type beauty to be his favorite figure. He loves me regardless of my 5-10 pound weight fluctuations due to my short size and he always encourages me to do whatever I need to do to feel confident and healthy. Your attractiveness will be eye-catching at first, but being perfectly skinny and flawless all the time matters a little less as the man falls for the person behind the beauty.

      Stay beautiful, pretty girl.

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