20 Pics Of Justin Bieber Loving His Dumb F**king Segway

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justin bieber segway

Justin Bieber loves his segway. He causes many ruckuses and smokes weed on it. Presumably because he is incapable of actually walking. (Yes, he had his body guards carry him up the steps of the Great Wall of China.) It would seem as though his legs lost the ability to walk and can now only dance mediocrely and remain tethered to the least practical and most ostentatious vehicle of the 21st century.

I am not hating on segways entirely but I am throwing shade at someone who thinks they are cool for riding a segway which is quite possibly the dorkiest form of transportation. The vehicle moves around three miles per hour and you have to stand on it, yet it requires no form of athleticism the way a bike, roller skates or skateboard would. There isn’t really a point to a segway besides making mall security guards appear even less threatening. All a segway is, is a remind that there are people so wealthy, with such luxury, with their heads so far up their butts, that they have relinquished walking to mere peasants. Just look at the picture above.

Justin Bieber doesn’t even get off his segway to greet fans but that isn’t surprising since he spits on his fans too. He spits on people a lot, actually.

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