On The Importance of Trusting Your Gut In Relationships
It’s that feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you desperate to check his phone. It’s that nagging, loud, bullying, screaming voice in the back of your head that tells you he wasn’t where he said he was. It’s a stomachache. It’s unwavering doubt.
Women’s intuition is no myth.
Sure, some people are more intuitive than others, there’s no question—but we all have this gift. And I am telling you, ignoring this gut feeling, ignoring your intuition, is one of the worst mistakes you can make in a relationship.
I dated my most recent boyfriend for almost two years. Not six months into this relationship, I just had this feeling. Something was off. I couldn’t shake this feeling.
But blinded by love or lust or stupidity, I ignored all of my gut instincts. He would stay out until 3 AM and call me crazy for questioning him. He wouldn’t call me back for literally days and I would believe his excuses. He never had a nice word to say about one of his exes. I shrugged it all off.
The feelings continued to grow until finally, I had to check his phone. I say had to because at that point, it wasn’t a choice. I needed to know. If I was looking to prove myself wrong or right, I couldn’t tell you. But I had to know something.
Don’t ever do this. By the time you feel you need to check your SO’s phone, the relationship is over. The importance of listening to your gut comes in here. It’s better to go with that gut instinct than to look in the phone. The things I saw in that phone are stuck in my head for the foreseeable future, and I can’t do a thing about it.
I’m not saying everyone will have my misfortune and find explicit texts from other men on their boyfriend’s cell phone. But I can say that if I had listened to my gut almost a whole year before this happened, I could have saved myself so much pain. If I had just listened to what my body was telling me, I could have left that relationship a year earlier, with all my ability to trust still in tact. If I hadn’t ignored that screaming voice in my head, I’d have been as happy as I am now much, much earlier.
Sometimes I wonder if that experience of ignoring my gut was necessary to know how important it was. Like how you never know what love is until you experience a shitty relationship that only looks like love. Or how you never know how good actual butter is until you stop eating it for a year and then you finally have it on a warm slice of French bread and you’re like, oh yeah, butter.
The fact is, it hurts to let go of a relationship no matter what. It’s that growing, and it’s all that change, and that fear of regret, and having to wear pants again and lose your relationship weight.
But if you listen to your gut, if you listen to that voice in your head—if you really listen, it always knows what’s right.
[Lead image via CREATISTA/Shutterstock]