Adam Levine Is The Sexiest Man Alive, His 8 Douchiest Moments

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Adam Levine is People’s Sexiest Man Alive. People reviewed billions of applications from all the men in the world and judged their appeal using five basic criteria: a) Altruism b) Achievement c) Contributions to female empowerment. d) Humility and lastly, e) Penis size. Just kidding, People did what they do every year, pick a conventionally attractive man from a handful of celebrities and then see if he was willing to be on the cover of their stupid magazine.

We thought rounding up this year’s winner’s horrifyingly sexist and obnoxious quotes. Look, Songs About Jane was a good ass pop-funk-rock album but Adam Levine needs to STFU.

Yoga Is Good For Sex

“You know what yoga’s good for?” Adam Levine asks, pausing in mid-thought as he discusses his healthful lifestyle. He draws to his feet, balances in the private jet’s narrow aisle, points at his crotch, and thrusts his pelvis like a porn star. “I’ll tell you what yoga is good for: Fuuuu-k-ing,” he chimes, in a singsong falsetto, then laughs. (details.com)

On Using Women Because He “Loves” Them

“There’s two kinds of men,” Levine posits. “There are men who are f-cking misogynist pigs, and then there are men who just really love women, who think they’re the most amazing people in the world. And that’s me. Maybe the reason I was promiscuous, and wanted to sleep with a lot of them, is that I love them so much.” (celebitchy.com)

He Hates America

“I hate this country.” (twichy.com)

On Social Etiquette 

“I spend most of my life naked. In fact, I often have to be told by the people around me that it’s inappropriate to be as naked as I am. But I live in California, where it’s always warm, so why not?” (guestofaguest.com)

On Not Wearing Condoms

Adam revealed he uses “a fool-proof birth-control system,” the pull-out method. (OK Magazine)

On Scientific Facts

“I hate flying,” Levine says. “Know why? Because no one really understands how planes actually work.” (celebitchy.com)

On Getting Girls

“I didn’t start a band to get girls,” Adam said with a laugh. “I stayed in the band to get girls.” (OK Magazine)

He Was Surrounded By Estrogen

“One of my theories on why I’m so capable of understanding women is that after my parents split, my mom moved in with her brother’s ex-wife—my aunt—who was also newly single,” he says. “So I was living in a house with two jilted women, plus my cousin, who’s more like my sister, and my brother, Michael, who we eventually find out is gay. Just the estrogen alone . . . You know when you’re 14 and terrified to talk to a girl? I didn’t suffer much from that. It seemed very natural to me to talk to girls.” (details.com)

But He’s Not A Real Artist Anyway

P.S. Adam Levine Sticks His Tongue Out As Often As Miley Cyrus

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