On Instagram Straight Flexin’ [Diary of the Undateable]

A few weeks ago, I met up with a friend after work at Busboys and Poets, a D.C. eatery famous for its chic-and-cheap café menu and chill vibes. We were goofing off, as usual, when she took a candid shot of me on her iPhone.

“But wait, this is so cute! Are you gonna put it on Instag…”

I already had the picture cropped, filtered and ready to go before she could even get the sentence out.

We parted ways after finishing our cobb salads and cocktails. As I waited for my bus home looking at my likes, I received a text from a name that hadn’t crossed my path – or notification center – for a minute: Mitt.

I’d basically given up on him. We talked for about five months, the longest I’ve ever talked to any guy, but the flame was growing colder like the weather. He was the world’s worst communicator. But whenever I posted something on Instagram, he’d always hit me up. Always. I could be waiting for an answer for days at a time but if I posted a selfie or something, he’d come sliding back into my inbox.

I’ve never followed any of my crushes on social media…you know, because I prefer the old-fashioned method of stalking from afar. When Mitt asked me for my handle this summer, I didn’t think much of it. I learned a lot more about him, though, which is always helpful. And I got to “see” him more, which was cool too.

But I didn’t realize the pressure of following someone who I’m feeling. I wanted to like enough of his pics to seem interested, but I didn’t want to like too many because I didn’t want to be thirsty. I tried not to get mad when he’d upload a picture while I was still waiting for him to text me back, but I ended up getting mad when he’d upload a picture while I was still waiting for him text me back. And I tried really hard not to dig up dirt on the other girls who he was following, but…well, you know.

I thought that his Instattention was him salvaging our thing, whatever it was. And I can’t lie…it was flattering. That’s when I became Instaobsessed. I’d find any ol’ reason to update my feed. Studying in the library? Snap a selfie. Restroom break at work? Snap a selfie. I had never been that active on the gram before…ever! It got to the point where my friends were asking why I was posting so much. I wasn’t doing it for follows, though…I was doing it for Mitt. Yeah. I know. I was tripping.

Social media plays a large part in the relationships that we have, professionally and personally. Obvi. But liking Mitt and him liking my pics made me realize how it affects the way we date. Subtweets, #mcm, #wcw, phantom following and the dreaded-but-desired Facebook relationship status are all evidence of that. I can admit that I read into it way too much, though. Something that I learned – from Instagram memes, naturally – is that if a guy wants me, he’ll do everything in his power to get me. If he wants to talk to me, he’ll text me back or even call. And not just because he happens to remember me when I pop up on his timeline.

CollegeCandy, is following a crush on social media a do or a don’t?

When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea moonlights as a print journalism major at the REAL HU, Howard University. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.

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