It sucks, but I’ve never had a guy genuinely like me. I came to this harsh realization after poring over one of my go-to read, “He’s Just Not That Into You.” The message is simple, really – if a guy wants to talk to you, he’ll call. If he wants to see you, he’ll see you. If he says he sees a future with you, then he’ll start to make it happen. You’d think that with books like these and signs like those, this dating thing would be foolproof, right? Nah. I have to learn things the hard way…and I have to like the wrong guys.
For some strange reason, I’ve always been into guys that are completely full of themselves. I’m a humble girl, and I’m still working on building my confidence…so anything remotely arrogant is the complete opposite of who I am. Whenever I meet someone, even in a professional setting, I don’t like talking about myself – I always flip the conversation. I keep quiet and just do my own thing, you know? But I’m always drawn to the guy who announces his presence. The guy who brags about his accomplishments before I can recognize them. The well-dressed, well-groomed pretty boy that loves himself more than anyone or anything else. The one who knows that he’s wanted and ultimately wants me to want him even more.
A few weeks ago, a reader asked me about this guy that I talked to for a while…Mitt. Even though he was clearly not that into me, he’d always make sure to check in every once in a while and say just the right thing to keep me under his spell. “Why do you think he’d talk to you so much and ask about your love life?” she asked. It’s because he’s just how I like ’em: an egotistical guy who just wants a little bit of attention. It’s a pattern that’s consistent in most of the guys that I’ve really, really liked. I pull away and ask for space…and they come back because they can’t deal with the fact that they’ve been rejected. And then when I let them back in, they’re the ones to end things…just so that they can say that they did it. It’s so irritating!
I think that confidence is sexy. There’s nothing like knowing your worth – recognizing who you are and what you have to offer. And when I learn how to fully grasp mine…watch out! Maybe that’s why I like the cocky ones…because they have enough self-esteem for the both of us.
Like most twenty-something aspiring journalist girls, I’m obsessed with “Sex and the City” and was always #teamBig. I always found Aiden boring and safe. But Big…Big was dangerous. He was also extremely conceited. His luxe lifestyle, those grand, romantic gestures and the way he drove Carrie crazy until they finally lived happily ever after is the stuff of TV legend. I have to come to terms with the fact that Mr. Big (and sadly, SATC) isn’t real…and he doesn’t live through my crushes.
When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea moonlights as a print journalism major at the REAL HU, Howard University. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.