It’s hard to believe that 2013 is almost over. Can’t say that I’m too sad to see it go, though…this year was particularly sucky for my “love life.” Using quotes because it’s a joke. Every single guy that I talked to this year was a complete and utter asshole. And it’s not like I didn’t see the signs…I just chose to ignore them because I was so thirsty for a boo. But it’s cool. If anything, I learned valuable lessons from the douchebags that I encountered – with the primary one being not to date douchebags, obvi. Of course, I’ll make mistakes in the future. Dating’s just a big compilation of romantic trial and error anyway. And since I made these mistakes this year, I think that there’s plenty of room for growth in the next.
1) Believing obvious lies
“That’s not my girlfriend…we’re just really close.” “Oh my bad, I was sleep when you called.” “We’re just gonna chill and watch a movie, nothing else!” As a native New Yorker, I’ve been bred to sift through BS since the day I was born. I can sniff out a lie when it’s thrown my way – and sadly, I’m guilty of tolerating them when I want to avoid confrontation.
2) Always letting them text first
I’m still trying to figure out a workable balance when it comes to communicating with guys. Usually, I’ll let them text me first because I don’t know when the right time is to hit them up. I don’t want to bother them when they’re in class or at work or out with friends. Unfortunately, this gives the impression that I’m not interested at all.
3) Double texting
…but if they’re not hitting me back or taking days at a time to respond, I’ll be damned if I text them twice! I’m also guilty of the double text. I’m impatient. Sorry.
4) No phone calls
Remember the old days when you’d get your crush’s phone number on a slip of looseleaf paper, and you’d wait by the phone for him to call? And then when he did call, you’d spend hours on end talking about the most random stuff…and more often then not, you’d fall asleep with the phone by your ear and a smile on your face. Sigh. I miss that. Texting is the lowest rung of communication in my eyes. It’d be refreshing for my crushes to actually pick up the phone next year.
5) Sending pictures
I double backed on my promise to myself. I said that I’d never send a guy a picture again – sadly, I’ve done it more than once since then. There’s something weird about the “send me a pic” text, especially if we met in person or if he follows me on Instagram. I’m taking a stance, though. I will never frantically search through my camera roll for a selfie again.
6) Bar hoping
The opposite of bar hopping, bar hoping is the act of going to the bar and hoping that my Mr. Right will swoop in and buy the next round of cosmos. I’m not a huge partier at all…but when I do go out, I’m usually hoping to accidently-on-purpose meet a charming stranger. That self-inflicted pressure takes away from the fun of the night.
7) Ducking awkward questions
Whenever things are starting to bloom with a crush, I dread questions about sex and relationships because obviously I haven’t experienced the two. I think that they’ll think that I’m an inexperienced, clingy weirdo freak who’s not worth the time. But if a guy can’t accept me for who I am, he’s the one who’s not worth it, right?
8) Being too shy to say Hi
Sadly, I’m still chronically shy. My public confidence has improved greatly over the years, especially as an aspiring journalist (man on the street interviews will nip social reluctance in the bud), but I’m still really jittery around guys…especially cute ones. Most of my favorite relationship experts and magazines say that all it takes is a little bit of eye contact and a dash of confidence to meet men. Simple enough!
When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea moonlights as a print journalism major at the REAL HU, Howard University. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.