There’s a story buzzing around the internet because an anonymous commenter on xoJane.com revealed that she was raped by Conor Oberst the lead singer of Bright Eyes. It’s a little convoluted so we’ll try and break it down as simply as possible.
An anonymous author wrote a post called: IT HAPPENED TO ME: I DATED A FAMOUS ROCK STAR & ALL I GOT WAS PUNCHED IN THE FACE. This personal essay did not reveal the identity of the author’s rapist and presumably the author is not the woman who was allegedly assaulted by Conor Oberst. It was on this post, that a commenter shared her story of allegedly being raped by Conor Obesrt. She did this in solidarity with other rape survivors and did not expect the comment to gain so much traction, which is a bit naive, but if it’s true, hey, she has every right.
Here is one of the original comments.
“I am not the author [of the xoJane post] but as I said in a previous comment, I was raped by a “rock star” when I was 16 years old and he was in his 20s. My husband suggests I may feel some empowerment by outing my rapist. It was Conor Oberst of Bright Eyes (and several other bands/side projects he fronts, bright eyes being the most popular). I hope you are right about helping the next girl but I’m waiting for the backlash. Thanks for the courage, even if you weren’t directing it at me. “
Here is her first comment.
“I was raped by a “rock star” myself. I was 16 years old, he was in his 20s. No one believed me (he wasn’t even that famous then). No one believed me because I had been his biggest fan for several years at that point, his pictures covered my locker, etc. I guess when I made the accusation, everyone thought it was some sick & twisted way to get… I don’t know, closer to him? My own mother didn’t believe me until recently and it’s 10 years later now. This guy is the poster boy for what was known as “emo” back in the day, everyone thinks he’s so sweet and sensitive and sad, that he could never be the vicious monster he was that night. It makes me sick. I want to out him so bad. Every time I hear his name, I want to tell people what he did. I think people deserve to know. But due to how shit went down with my own friends&family at the time of the assault, the backlash terrifies me. It hurts to constantly see the way people fawn over him as if he’s a God. It’s really hard dealing with your attacker being famous or popular when you know the truth about them but feel no one will listen.
Anyway, I am so sorry that this happened to you but so glad you finally got out.”
After her comments began to blow up she decided to address the situation on Tumblr and did so, the best way she could have.
“Look, I didn’t intend for any of this to happen. I was a somewhat regular commenter on xojane and felt safe there. Call it dumb, naive, etc but when I hit that post button, I did not think my comment would be anything more than an exchange with one or two other commenters sharing their stories. Was I stupid to think that making an accusation about Conor like this was just going to remain some blip in the comment section of a feminist website? Obviously. But I didn’t realize that Conor was still *that* popular, to be honest. I guess I felt too safe in that community. I had no intention for this to be all over the place, I really did not.
I am not looking for my 15 minutes of fame or to sue or to let anyone else make money off of this situation (though some are already trying), I am not looking for anything. I am not trying to ruin this man (and that isn’t going to happen regardless). All I was looking for when I made the comment with my story was support from the ladies on that forum that I felt safe opening up to. But now this has been spread all over everywhere and I feel like I need to speak up for the facts, for my character and for my intent (or lack there of).
I wish I could say I was really brave and I was speaking out for the benefit of other victims of rape who may feel discounted in their experiences and alone. But I am not that brave. I am speaking now because everyone else is speaking for me and a lot of it isn’t accurate. But now that it’s out there, if anyone can relate to it and not feel so alone or needs any support, I’m here for that.” Read the rest here.
If this is true then it’s a completely horrible situation to be in and we hope this woman can get some justice. The story is starting to gain traction on social media so you can expect to hear more about it soon.