You Doing Things vs. Beyonce Doing Things

You Doing Things vs. Beyonce Doing Things

Beyoncé is not a human being she is Beyoncé. She may do humanlike things but she is not human. She may eat, procreate, enjoy sex, maybe even sleep but make no mistake she is not human. When she says, “I woke up like this,” in “Flawless” she is being dead serious. While some of us may have cringed at those lyrics upon our first hearing them because we thought, “No, women work really hard to look good everyday. Even if we enjoy doing it or if we feel like we have to because of social pressures, we don’t wake up looking like that.”

Then of course we saw what Beyoncé looks like without makeup and realized, oh, she does wake up like that, no wonder she says that, ooooooooh, my bad. Bey is not human. When Beyoncé does something it looks like a $50,000 Vogue editorial spread. When us humans do something we resemble lost family members from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. This isn’t an insult to us, Honey Boo Boo or anyone who does the things that Beyoncé does, more than anything Bey is an insult to homo sapiens because she just makes us look bad—no, we’re an insult to her because we are not worthy—no, everyone is just doing their thing but she just does it better—no—ugh—she is just flawless.

This is Beyonce with no makeup.


This is you with no makeup.


This is Beyonce cooking.


This is you cooking.


This is Beyonce hanging with her significant other.


This is you hanging with your significant other.


This is Beyonce buying some candy.


This is you buying candy.


This is Beyonce smoking.


This is you smoking.


This is Beyonce eating chicken.


This is you eating chicken.


This is Beyonce drunk.


This is you drunk.


This is Beyonce accepting her awards.


This is you accepting your awards.


This is Beyonce wearing a fur coat.


This is you wearing a fur coat.


  • Emerald PellotCOLLEGECANDY Writer
    Emerald is an editor at CollegeCandy, lover of coffee, and pretend francophile. After studying writing and popular culture at NYU she decided to be a grownup and get a job. Tweet at ya' girl @EmeraldGritty.