Miami Beach police released photos of all of Justin Bieber‘s questionable tattoos. I say “questionable” because most people’s tattoos seem really lame but can mean a whole lot to them. I have a tattoo of an exclamation point on my wrist and people will ask me, “Did you draw that on yourself?!” The implication being that it’s so poorly done, it looks like I drew on my wrist with a Sharpie marker. I get it, what’s cool to me looks infinitely stupid to other people. That’s the beauty of life. So, right now I am about to make fun of all of Justin Bieber’s tattoos but really, I am just teasing because all tattoos kind of are stupid while simultaneously not being stupid at all, you know?
The photos were taken after Justin Bieber was in police custody during that January 23rd DUI/speeding debacle. Furthermore, we all, just came, so, so close to seeing Justin’s bieberweiner, “Miami-Dade County Judge William Altfield said two of the five unreleased video clips depict the singer’s genitalia during a urine test for drugs at the Miami Beach Police Department. Altfield agreed with lawyers for Bieber, who turned 20 on Saturday, that the video’s airing would be an invasion of privacy that outweighed the public’s right to know.” Yeah, plus, most of humanity would immediately be blinded by whatever Bizzle is packing down there.