Your “Pretty Little Liars Cheat Sheet”: Season 4, Episode 23

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The “winner” of Monday’s Bachelor won’t be wearing a wedding gown anytime soon, but the ladies of Rosewood did! Here’s what happened…

1. Spencer got some issuessssss: Right now Spencer is on the crazy train of drugs but it goes much deeper than that. Apparently, that summer she was acting ratchet and was on drugs before, she might have bashed in a stranger’s head with a shovel! The show does a great job of doing all these flashbacks of that summer with Ali being afraid of Spencer, and Ms. D telling her not to let Spencer bully her. If I’ve been watching this show correctly this whole time, I know that Spencer is kind of a g but how could you¬†really¬†be afraid of the prep princess? She seems so shiny and good! She’s got her momma shakin’ though, as she tells Spencer to “leave that summer alone!” Someone also left Spencer a cryptic note saying the she killed them! Holy what?? Murder is not a plus on a college application.

2. The return of Jason DiLaurentis: He’s probably the hottest older brother ever, so I never get tired of welcoming him back to the fold. When Emily confronts him, he shares with her that his family has always been afraid of Spencer and her violent ways. Spencer talks to him at the bridal fashion show thingy and they bond over having drug addictions. #sibs #lovenotdrugs #bonding. However, she finds out that he lied about his time in treatment given that the facility he claimed he went to was closed two years prior. So, if this theory about Ms. D being ‘A’ is correct, then he could have been one of her minions. The plot thickens, like a good stew.

3. Aria, team sourpuss: If anyone else was moaning I wouldn’t care half as much, but she just gets under my skin. She’s still all “woe is me, my love was a lie” boo-hoo. Get the eff over it! Someone has been trying to kill/torture you for years. A little heartbreak is no thang gurl, no thang. (As I write that, I know it’s super cynical but nope, can’t take it back.) And when her mom finally comes home, she can’t be happy for her. I mean what teenage doesn’t want their parents to virtually abandon them so they can date old men? So ungrateful, that girl. Ella does eventually teller Aria about her engagement to Zack, the cub to her cougar. Aria shows a shred of compassion and the two cry it out. Maybe Ella can wear the dress Aria is modeling.

4. Omigod, Awww, Gahhhh: That’s how I feel about Travis. He’s pretty much the best, sexiest thing on this show at the moment and him in a tux was MAJOR. He’s working the bridal fashion show the girls are in as a valet, and when Hanna comes complaining about her sleuthing, he says logical things like “should I call the cops?” Maybe because I’m nosy as hell, I’d want more of an explanation about what exactly Hanna was up to but Travis lets it slide; probably because he’s a teenage boy and loves a girl in need, idk about these things. He then gets all goggly eyed about the sight of her in a wedding dress and the two share a deep, passionate kiss. Never has that phrase been so on-point! This show always has one couple begin when another ends, RIP Paige and Emily who broke up at the end of the episode. Emily can forgive but never trust Paige again. I want to cheer for Emily but homegirl needs to get over her Ali crush.

5. Best line of the night: After Mrs. Hastings finds Spencer asleep with Dean, the sobriety coach, Spencer tells her that Dean was only reading to her and they fell asleep. When Dean tries to back Spencer up, Mrs. Hastings replies, “Yes, you must’ve right on top of my daughter.” Zip! Zang! Zinger! Mrs. H giving the perfect one-liner. Momma don’t play that, no she don’t.

Season finale next week!! Until next time!

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