As you may or may not already know, today is my 23rd birthday! Happy Birthday to me! If you subscribe to believing in the zodiac and all of that, you would know that I’m an Aries. I love being an Aries, and I have an Aries tattoo on my ribs. Aries are rams, they break rules and hearts and are basically badass. So in that theme, I’m bending the rules a little bit, and I’m bringing you the 23 lessons I had to learn the hard way when it comes to romance.
1. Any variation of “don’t dip your pen in the company ink.” It’s never good to get involved with someone you see outside of your relationship – work, class, your dorm room etc.
2. If a guy is telling you he doesn’t want a relationship, he means that he doesn’t want one with you. Harsh, but you’re not the exception to the rule.
3. Dumbing yourself down to get someone to like you is the dumbest thing ever.
4. Similarly, changing yourself and the things that you like for the sake of someone else is the fastest way to lose yourself.
5. Any boy that comments on your weight is not a boy worth seeing.
6. If you’re starting to feel overwhelmed by a relationship, that’s a good indicator that it’s time to get out.
7. People don’t change. If it bothers you three months in that your boyfriend doesn’t laugh at your jokes or whatever, it will bother you six months in, and six years in etc.
8. The only insurance you have that a relationship isn’t going to end is a diamond ring, and sometimes even that’s not enough.
9. In relation to that, don’t take it personally if the relationship DOES end. You’re young, things happen and usually it’s not any one person’s fault but a combination of a bunch of things.
10. BUT that doesn’t mean that cheating is ever okay. If someone can do that to you once, they can, and probably will, do it again.
11. It also takes two people to cheat, he never just “fell” onto someone’s mouth.
12. The “other woman” is a sucky person, but that doesn’t mean you can hate her and not your boyfriend. Like I said, it takes two people to cheat.
13. There is no reason to revenge stalk his ex. She didn’t do anything to you. Unless she did, in which case you should stand up for yourself in a mature way.
14. Guys who call their exes crazy will most likely call you crazy after you break up.
15. If a guy spends an entire date talking about how much he hates his ex girlfriend, he does not hate her at all.
16. A guy will tell you what he wants from you. If he calls you at 2am, that’s what he wants from you. There’s really no other way to look at it. If he wants to date you, he will ask you on a date.
17. I like wearing leopard print jeans and getting my hair permed. If a boy tells me he doesn’t like my leopard print jeans or my perm-y hair, he’s not really worth my time.
18. The right guy will never make you choose between your friends and him.
19. You are never, ever asking for it.
20.There is no correlation between height and “size” if you catch my drift.
21.Having casual sex isn’t slutty, but you need to be careful and understand their are risks. There’s nothing sexy about being reckless and stupid.
22.Break all the rules. Relationships don’t exist on rules. If you want to move in at 2 weeks, do it. If you want to wait 10 years into dating to get married, do it. No one needs to understand besides you and your boo.
23. Love yourself. You have to love yourself before anyone else will really love you.
There you have it. I think I probably have some growing up to do still, but these 23 simple lessons will save you a lot of heart break. Don’t worry, if you think some of these seem too simplistic. You can find case studies (aka my own personal stories on how I learned these lessons) in upcoming Bold Girls’ Bibles!
Molly is a senior journalism/English major at a school you haven’t heard of in a state you haven’t heard of. She’s obsessed with Chandler Bing, English bulldogs, and cheese. Follow her on twitter @mollymahannah, or check out her website accordingtomolly.com.