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My Boyfriend Loves Porn, But Can I Ask Him to Stop Watching It? [Ask a Slut]

ask-a-slut

Dear Slut,

I really don’t like it when my boyfriend watches porn. I know a lot of guys watch it but I think it’s gross and degrading. He says I should be more open minded and even try to watch it myself. I really can’t see myself doing that and I cannot understand why he needs to watch it when he can have sex with me. Can I ask him to stop, is that so wrong?

Pornophobia

Dear Pornophobia,

I want to reach through my computer and backhand some sense into you. How could you actually ask if you can take porn away from a guy?? What are you — the soup Nazi of jerking off? NO PORN FOR YOU!! Okay, but seriously you suck; porn isn’t the problem, your closed-minded shit attitude is.

Ok deep breaths. I am not going to be angry with you. Let’s address the first comment that you think porn is degrading. OF COURSE IT IS, that’s part of the appeal. It may not turn you on (or at least you think it doesn’t) but it turns a lot of people on. What you are failing to understand is how horny men are. It’s hard wired in them. It’s an animalistic instinct to fuck everything they can, and porn acts as a release valve a lot of the time. Louis CK illustrates it best when he talks about sexual perversion and the difference between men and woman. Watch the clip below and learn dummy:

Now that you have a clearer picture of the mind of man, you can see your boyfriend isn’t gross he’s a regular guy that has a sex drive. You shouldn’t shame him for that you she-devil.  Of course just fucking you isn’t going to quench all his sexual desires for the rest of time. What is your pussy the gateway to nirvana?? I doubt it..

Okay, that was mean. But seriously, you are doing yourself a disservice by not trying to watch porn. I am not saying go watch a bukaki video (you can Google that term later privately) there are a lot of woman friendly porn videos that I swear you would like. This will act as a gateway drug into the wonderful world that is porn. Here is your homework: go to one of those websites your filthy boyfriend enjoys and click on the “romantic”  porn section. There will be script, there will be dialogue, and you will be dropping your panties in NO TIME. It’s epic able to give yourself multiple orgasms without the presence of a grunting man there. LIBERATION MY CLOSE-MINDED FRIEND. Welcome to the jungle, you (and your boyfriend) can thank me later.

Xoxo,

Bang Bang

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