Going shopping gives me varying levels of anxiety and existential dismay depending on where I am shopping at. Shopping malls literally make me sick. I don’t know if it’s the large crowds, the claustrophobia of being closed in a giant space, the florescent lights or the lack of air flow but I get nauseous, I start sneezing, I feel like I can’t breathe. It’s very strange. I do much better traveling on foot from store to store in the city. At Forever 21, I pretty much know my way around because it was the only place I could afford until fairly recently.I get a little overwhelmed because there is so much stuff in there I don’t want to miss out any good finds but overall I can keep my cool.
At Zara I feel somewhat out of place because all the people shopping there look like elite fashionistas with disposable incomes and I actually have to save up to buy stuff from there. Then there’s Urban Outfitters a store that is no one near my price range but the, let’s call it, fashionably atrocious clothing makes me feel right at home. It’s certainly a brand for adolescents and the grungy attitude is more accessible than alienating. Still, shopping there is a thing in and of itself. It’s an emotional experience of bartering, checking your bank account, scouring sale racks and becoming disillusioned by modern fashion.