It’s finals week which means there’s only one thing to do: hire a hitman to injure you just enough (please, no killing, though!) so that you don’t have to take finals. No, really, this is a thing that happened. Two University of Georgia students are looking to hire a hitman on Craig’s List to run them over with a car. If these people had real friends they wouldn’t have to hire a hitman. Real friends would run over their friends so that they can get out of taking finals. Just fake an anxiety attack so you can get more time to study? Or, you know, just study?