You talkin’ ’bout my ‘Merica? Well, the 30th amendment says I have the right to spit in your left eye and take a poop in your right shoe, ’cause my ‘Merica don’t play that. When you mess with ‘Merican bulls, you get the ‘Merican HORNS. Listen, other countries, with your socialism and free health care, y’all need to pay close attention: AMERICA IS THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!
Editor’s Note: This was originally published May 24, 2013. Many of our readers took what was clearly meant to be a joke in earnest. This is a satirical post about pride in all the silly things American has given us not a treatise on American Exceptionalism. Hence the jorts, guys.