When was the last time a guy called you up on the phone to ask you out on a date? It’s probably been a while, if ever. For our generation, dating begins only after a very calculated and restrained bout of texting. (Don’t you dare respond right away, ma’am. I’m watching you.) Text the wrong thing — a hi instead of a hey, a what are you up to? after midnight, a winky face (God forbid) — and the odds of even making it to the “we’re, um, hanging out” stage are greatly diminished.
Texting isn’t just an easy way to get to know someone, it’s a near fool-proof method of weeding out unworthy romantic candidates. It’s for this very reason that you should brush yourself up on the unwritten rules of texting. There are 8 of them and, yes, you will be judged harshly if you fail to abide. Let’s review, shall we?