I Cheated On My Boyfriend, Should I Tell Him Before I Dump Him? [Ask a Slut]

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Dear Slut,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years. Recently, our sex life and the relationship have been on the decline, blasé to say the least. We fall into the same routine; it’s like sex is a chore that we feel obligated to do. I’ve been so frustrated and checked out and so has he.

I went out with my friends last weekend and got really drunk and went home with somebody else. I know it sounds terrible, but I think that the experience confirmed for me that I am not in love with my boyfriend anymore and that it’s time to break up. The thing is — I don’t know if it’s necessary to tell him I cheated on him.

Since I am going to break up with him anyways does it make a difference? Am I just relieving myself of guilt and hurting his feelings in the process if I tell him? Or does he deserve to know the truth? What should I do (or not do)?

Anonymous Adulteress

Dear Anonymous Adulteress,

I hate to bring religion into anything (especially sex), but since you have sinned I would refer to the Golden Rule to be your moral compass on this one. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. I’m an atheist myself but do I think this dusty old phrase does make a compelling point. Before you make any decisions on what to say (or not say), think about what you would want your boyfriend to do if he had cheated on you. Would you want to know? Would you feel better or get closure if he was totally honest with you, or would you prefer to be in the dark and just deal with being dumped?

I’ve never been cheated on personally, but I have been a cheater. I know it feels like shit and you want to brush it under the rug. But, you are the one who fucked up (pardon the pun), so it’s time to think about what would be best for your partner. Another thing you need to consider is that if you do decide not to tell him and somehow it get’s back to him it’s going to hurt infinitely more. You are no longer just the girl who dumped him, you are the girl who dumped him, cheated on him and lied to him. I believe the phrase for that is “no good lying whore”.

My gut reaction is for you to tell him the truth. If you aren’t certain that that is the right course of action make a list of the pros and cons of spilling the beans. But burn the list right after, you don’t want to incriminate yourself. Best of luck from one lying whore to another.

Xoxo

Bang Bang 

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