The Good Girls’ Guide to One Night Stands

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one night stand

You’re the token good girl and you’ve decided that you want some no-strings-attached kind of love. Congratulations! Now what do you do? You’re not used to boyfriend-less, passion-less sex so navigating this murky water is going to take some getting used to. One night stands can be tricky because so much can go wrong, but if you’re careful you’ll end up having a lot of fun!

Throw some condoms in you’re purse, go the a bar, have a few Long Island Iced Teas for liquid courage and use this guide to be in your first fling swing.

Choose the Right Guy

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It’s of dire importance that you choose the right guy to hump and dump as it could very well dictate your future (maybe the next few days, maybe the rest of your life…no bullshit!) Try to figure out what kind of guy he is by conversation and how he treats you and other ladies. Is he a douche bag? Like the type that’ll tell your whole school you banged last night? Save yourself the embarrassment by choosing a guy that has some decency and seems like he can keep his mouth shut.

You also don’t want a guy that’s way too pressed— and by that I mean drooling as if he’s never seen breasts before and is being super aggressive— to sleep with you because chances are he’s a creep that’s going to keep harassing you or try some really uncomfortable shit (like choke holds) later on that night. Stay away from this guy, he might be dangerous.

Keep Conversation To A Minimum

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It’s cool to talk; conversation is part of foreplay…and it’d be really strange if you guys didn’t say words to each other. But don’t go asking this guy about his family history. You don’t need to know! There’s no need to be thinking about his how his grandfather lost his leg in some war while you’re screwing him.

Leave As Soon As You Wake Up

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Don’t stick around making a full English breakfast in the morning. That’s for boyfriends and guy that are going to buy you shoes, not one night stands. Besides, he could very well be a vegetarian. The polite thing to do is gently wake him up and say a quick goodbye…but even that’s optional.

Don’t Get a Phone Number…Unless the Sex Was Really, Really Good

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This one is pretty self explanatory. If he made you see stars, the moon, and Pluto, take down his number and use it. If not, end your relationship high and dry right there like you intended to the night before.

[Lead image via Baltskars /Shutterstock]

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