I don’t know what else to say about watching the boy you like stick his tongue in someone else’s mouth, but it’s literally the worst. A few years ago, I was having an on-again-off-again “casual” thing with a boy. Although it had officially been “off again” a few weeks prior to that, it was pretty shocking to walk into my favorite bar to find him in a booth tongue deep in what is now his actual girlfriend. (They’ve been together for like two years now, so good for them!) I wanted to leave or fall in a hole or both. I literally didn’t know what to do. I kind of fumbled around awkwardly. I didn’t want to make a scene but part of me wanted to create a commotion so they would, like, knock it off. Side note: Making out in a bar is tacky. Side note: I am totally guilty of making out in a bar. Sue me.
To be honest, I didn’t handle the situation well for awhile until a good friend of mine sat me down and gave me these crucial and life changing tips.
1. Buy yourself a shot of something strong. Not like 1,000 shots of something strong. You get one. One shot and one minute to whimper, and then pull yourself together. Or at least pretend you’ve pulled yourself together. Whether you actually feel like crumbling or not, acting like you’ve got your shit figured out will at least lead to a temporary confidence boost. The alcohol helps with confidence too. I ordered myself a shot of Jameson. It usually does the trick.
2. Don’t get too drunk. I don’t know about you guys, but I have a friend that cries literally every time she drinks too much whiskey. Like if she’s crying I’m like, well I know she drank whiskey. I love her dearly, but you don’t want to be the drunk girl crying to him on the phone wondering why the other girl is better than you.
3. Don’t text him. Erase his number or hand your phone off to a friend. This coincides with Number 2. The thing is, as hard as it is to swallow, if he’s kissing someone else he probably doesn’t care that much about you. Right now is damage control. You want to be the three C’s: calm, cool and collected. You don’t want to annoy him with your love.
4. If you do run in to him, don’t give him the time of day. You definitely don’t need to be rude, but you’re trying to save face at this point. Just say, “Hi! I’m so glad I ran into you but I really can’t talk. Jessica is having a bad night and I’m on BFF duty.” Or, “I haven’t seen my friends in a really long time, so I’d love to chat, but maybe tomorrow?”
5. WARNING: This one is the worst. It’s time to DTR. If your casual fling is caught red handed and you’re hurt it’s definitely time to define the relationship. Although you’re totally “not like every other girl” and “totally casual” it hurt to see him with someone else and that’s something you need to talk about like mature adults. Ugh, I know. Kill me, but it’s true.
Had I done any of these things, maybe things would have worked out differently. But rest assured, I got drunk and cried in the bathroom for 45 minutes.
Molly is a senior journalism/English major at a school you haven’t heard of in a state you haven’t heard of. She’s obsessed with Chandler Bing, English bulldogs, and cheese. Follow her on twitter @mollymahannah, or check out her website accordingtomolly.com.
[Lead image via Piotr Marcinski/Shutterstock]