Which Astrology Sign Should You Actually Be?

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You know how astrology is just vague enough that it can apply to anyone? Let’s conduct a social experiment together. These are the personality profiles of each astrology sign.

Choose the description that sounds the most like you and see which sign you should actually be!

You’re crazy sensitive. Like, crazy sensitive to the point where not only are you super intuitive but you’re maybe even a little bit of a hypochondriac. Do you even get sick or do you just see somebody who is coughing, sneezing and feverish and then instantly become symptomatic? Don’t get me wrong, your sensitivity isn’t a weakness, it’s actually your biggest strength. It puts you in tune with others thus making you very artistic, kind and caring of others. You can sense how others feel and are very self-aware which makes you wonderful at expressing emotions and experiences—the quality of any great artist. However, your sensitivity can mean you’re easily hurt by others who don’t mean to hurt you and led by others who don’t truly care about you.

You’re detail-oriented and sometimes crippingly shy, especially if you like someone or want to make a good impression. Attention to detail makes you quite intelligent and also very knit-picky. “It’s great but it would be perfect if you just . . .” is your motto. Yes, you’re a perfectionist and while you don’t mean to be a dick about it, while you actually mean to help when you correct others because you want them to strive for excellence, sometimes people aren’t in the mood to be criticized. You always mean well, you always want to do better and you typically are exceptional, now if only you could see yourself as positively as your achievements have proved you to be.

Wow, you’re like so generous and caring and then, like, so totally full of shit. You’re so complex! People love hanging with you because you’re charming and charismatic and you love that people love hanging around you because you love attention. That would be totally annoying if people didn’t really, really like you. You feed off of the spotlight so it’s a good thing people actually want you there (at least most of the time.) You may not be as confident as you appear and sometimes you can even appear arrogant when you don’t keep yourself in check but if you hone that pride into integrity, that compassion into creativity and that charisma into leadership, you just might be famous one day because you’re completely suited for it.

No one can seem to place you. It’s not easy being eccentric or even reasonable in a world full of basics. You’re a creative thinker and that phrasing is important because you’re not just a creative person, you’re highly rational which is a very productive combination. You’re a bit of an overachiever when you want to be but you’re not the rigid, type A either, you march to your own beat and manage to still get shit done and have fun. You’re intelligence and creativity makes you flexible to new ideas and thus your ever-changing views can make for an ever-changing temperament. Sometimes it’s best to just stay out of your way and let you do your thang, homie.

Why are you reading this when you should be checking your bank account? When was the last time you over-drafted? Yesterday? It’s not that you’re necessarily bad with money so much as there is so much beauty in the world that you need to have it all. No, you aren’t vapid, you are merely a beauty connoisseur and establishing your personal aesthetic is essential to establishing your identity and you have a strong identity. The number one thing people would never guess about you is that you aren’t as opinionated and stubborn as you appear because you actually have a difficult time making up your mind. Every point of view is valid to you and you’ll hear all of them out because you like beauty and truth is beauty, it’s just that when someone is so obviously wrong, so glaringly wrong, you believe it’s your personal responsibility to explain to them why they are so effing wrong. It actually makes you mad that people can be so completely wrong which is why you can come across as elitist and self-righteous.

You’re a grenade and not in the lame Fault In Our Stars way, you bring an explosion of energy into the room and you rise to the occasion with your wit and enthusiasm. You have a presence and everyone else needs to get on your level. You’re a courageous risk-taker that people will follow off a cliff. People follow you because they want to have the kind of fun that you’re having. They want to be as bold as you but is anyone as bold as you? Nope, so they follow the leader hoping that even a little bit of your light will shine on them. Unfortunately, because no one, because nothing, can really match you, let alone impress you, you kind of get bored—often. You kind of get a little ADHD too because nothing is interesting enough to hold your attention. You kind of can be a self-centered dick too because if nothing is worthy of your attention, then it’s kind of not worthy of you. Like, get over yourself, you’re cool as shit but not even Kanye gets away with this kind of arrogance.

Do you ever feel like your brain is on fire? There are so many things and you think about them constantly and if something is really cool you’ll read up about it and there are almost too many cool things so you’re constantly thinking. You often think to the point of neurosis or restlessness, but it’s all good because your inquisitiveness and overactive mind may make you seem a little insane but it also makes you witty and smart. Sometimes you’re smart, sometimes you’re a bit of a smart ass but most of all that brain makes you flexible. It’s almost as though you live thought to thought. One minute you’re sad, the next you’re happy, the next you’re into Star Trek, the next you’re into bagels. You’re that friend that knows a little bit about everything and maybe if you could stick to one mood and maybe if you’re volatile thoughts weren’t more entertaining than actually people, you might get out of your own head and you might not be so obnoxiously flaky.

Why can’t everyone be like you and just show up on time? Why can’t people say they are going do something and then do it? It’s not that being the reliable one is super fun, it’s that when things go smoothly there’s less room for error and if there is less room for error then things are more stable. Stability, security and grounding is the name of the game and what is more stable than what is predictable and what is more predictable than what is completely boring and expected? Change is not your cup of tea, bb and that can make it easy to fall into a less than exciting routine. However, that thirst for stability is what drives all of your ambitions and nothing is cooler or sexier than a person with le passion. Stability = happiness for you, so if there is anyone who is following through on that pursuit to happiness, no matter how many obstacles, it’s you and there are lots of creative, not so boring ways to achieve that.

I saw a guy wearing a T-shirt, “Money Over Hoes. Family Over Everything.” Was that you? I don’t mean to insult you, it’s not really the first half, but the second that is your motto. You love to indulge in pleasure, in pizza really, but when it comes down to it, what’s most important to you is family (whether that’s by blood or surrogate is up to you). There isn’t anyone more loyal, there isn’t anyone who is more giving than you and it’s like, so freaking genuine and sincere. It sucks that others forget to return the favor or take you for granted. It’s not that you give expecting in return, it’s that you’re more sensitive than you look, it’s that you have rough days too and it would be nice if someone would notice. Sometimes you can feel a little smaller than everyone, a little less than worthy and that can make your mushy-gushy insides form this tough exterior. If you ever said what was going on in your head, if you ever brought up that thing that is bothering you, then you might actually get a lot more of what you want. How can people return your kindness when you never show them you are in need of it?

Even if I didn’t like you, I’d still rather be your best friend than your worst enemy, bb. You’re very powerful and that power can be used for good or malice should you choose. You have a great combination of being keenly perceptive and magnetically charismatic. You’re an extreme in every direction. You give yourself up fully to whatever you desire, it might be a person, a good cocktail, a chocolate cake, a career. You thrive on passion and exude it. You feel everything intensely and thus, enjoy everything intensely. Your highs are high but your lows are low and because you want what you want you can be a real asshole if anything gets in between you and that thing. Sometimes you may even imagine a threat to your desire that isn’t real. Sometimes you can be a little possessive because you want that the thing that you want fully, in every way, to be yours and if that’s a person, yikes. Your ability to fully devote yourself, however, is what makes you excellent at whatever it is you choose to do.

Nothing gets under your skin because perhaps you are a robot. You think like a robot: practically, efficiently and task-oriented (except you actually have quite the fun and quirky personality). Your ability to think methodically and laterally makes you an excellent problem-solver. You know this about yourself  so you don’t really get too upset about any obstacle. You keep charging through. The odd thing though is that the big things don’t really phase you, you’ve come to grips with your mortality, but it’s those little petty things, those irrationally unnecessary things, that really fuck you up. Maybe it’s because they are so unwarranted and illogical. You can’t explain why that guy on the street is such a dick, you can’t stop him from being a dick, but you can eventually pay off your debts, your broken bones will eventually heal. Because you’re grounded, ambitious, and disciplined, if you aren’t already successful, it’s pretty much inevitable.

Did you hurt someone’s feelings today? Probably. You’re very straight forward because there is no need to tiptoe around the truth. The truth can set you free and pussyfooting around the truth isn’t just impractical, it’s boring. Are people lying because they think that’s more polite? That’s stupid. You wish people would say how they feel so that you know them, you know what they’re about, you know what makes them tick, what pisses them off, what keeps them on their toes.  Actually, it’s you who keeps them on their toes because you don’t shy away from saying exactly what you think and prodding at them until you peel back all the layers of this obnoxious small talk, social etiquette and blah, blah, boring. You make people unmask themselves and in doing so you make them more interesting. You lift the veil of basicness to uncover the fact that most people are actually pretty cool when they’re not caught up with trying to look cool. You see the best in people, in life and everything which can make you blindly optimistic almost to the point of naivety. “Wow, this guy is so cool, he does really interesting work,” you say as he signs you up to his ponzi scheme.

[Image Via. Shutterstock/Slanapotam]

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