When you’re in the thick of a broken heart, it’s hard to see any good in it. It’s hard to see any good in anything — a gorgeous day, a delicious meal, a great work out, your favorite movie — it all seems blah and bland and somehow reminds you of that person you just can’t be with anymore.
But once you are removed from it (yes — it goes away!) you can start to appreciate the hidden perks of being heart broken, of being completely broken down.
1. You Can Start Over. No matter how serious the relationship, when a relationship ends, you have a clean slate. You can start over. Maybe that’s with new friends, maybe that’s with a new man, maybe that’s you all on your own. Either way—you get a clean slate. And while it may not seem like it at the time, this is an amazing thing.
2. Your Friends Have to Do What You Say. For 4-6 weeks, depending on the break up and depending on your friends, everyone basically has to do what you want. You want to go get black out drunk and dance on tables? You may get some heavy sighs, but your people will go. You want to stay in and eat ice cream and talk and talk and cry and cry? You got it. Use this time wisely! You are the queen.
3. You Have an Excuse for Everything. If things are hard at work, you know, blame the break up. If you “accidentally” ate the whole box of mac and cheese and drank that whole bottle of Barefoot wine, oh well, it was the break up! Careful not to use this for too long, things can get out of control real quick—but use it.
4. You Can Do Anything You Want. You are FREE! Even though it’s immeasurably sad to be on your own again, you have to see the benefits of it. You can do whatever you want without checking in. You can go to whatever restaurant you want without considering what your other half may think of it. You can stay in bed all day if that’s what you want, with no concern of judgment. You are free again. It just may take a little while to remember why this is so amazing.
5. You Can Check Out Dudes Again. Sure, you can check out dudes when you’re dating someone, but it doesn’t mean quite the same thing. That first gorgeous man you catch eyes with at the grocery store after your break up—it just gives you hope. And butterflies. I bet you forgot you could have butterflies.
6. You Time. After my last break up I got a mani/pedi, facial, massage, and even one of those professional 40 dollar blow outs that comes with champagne. Because fuck it! Basically this is the only time you can go all out on pampering without feeling the least bit of guilt—use it and abuse it. Also, facials are just amazing over all and we could all use a professional blow out from time to time.
7. You Learn. Once the shitty part of it all is over, you’ll learn a hell of a lot from each broken heart. Could you have left earlier? Should you never have been with this person in the first place? Why? Did things just slowly fall apart? Did you miss any red flags? Could you have done anything differently? You can learn things—you should learn things. And your next relationship will be better. Promise.
[Lead image via Aleshyn Andrei /Shutterstock]