There will be times that you feel like stabbing your S/O in the neck with a pen.
Luckily, you’re not a psycho and would never do that, but the point is that you two will get mad at each other from time to time. Relationships can be wonderful, but they take a lot of work and some days just end up being better than others. Yes, a little constructive fighting — meaning there is an actual problem and solution — can be good for any relationship, but fighting shouldn’t be a regular occurrence in a healthy relationship. Now, if you’re dating ‘Petty Patty’ or ‘Douchebag Doug’ then the fights in your relationship are more than likely two times as frequent and three times as stupid, but that’s a topic for another day. When you’re in a relationship you have to learn to pick and choose your battles. Here are eight things that aren’t worth fighting about in your relationship.
Whether you’d like to admit it or not, flirting is flattering. Fighting about flirting is not worth fighting about because you can’t control what someone says to your significant other. Now, what might be worth fighting about is your S/O’s response to the flirtation. If your S/O kindly accepts the compliment of someone flirting with them and then dismisses that individual, relax. It’s okay to accept a compliment. However, if your S/O takes the compliment a little too far and then engages in further flirtation, then you might have something to fight about. For the most part though, take the fact that someone thinks your S/O is hot as a compliment because you have them, not the person who’s flirting with them.
Fighting about sex seems redundant to me. Why fight about sex when you can have sex? If you two are fighting about sex the real issue lies in communication. If the two of you are arguing about sex it more than likely just needs to be discussed, not fought about. Don’t fight about it unless you’re going to fight in bed. Talk to your S/O about the issue whether it be the frequency of sex or if you’re wanting them to try something different. Whatever the fight is about, just talk to them about it.
It’s not uncommon to share money in a relationship these days. Personally, I don’t think you should share funds unless you’re married, but still people do. If you and your S/O share money then recognize that this is a decision you made. To be frank, this fight could have been avoided if you two weren’t sharing money. Instead of fighting about it, talk about it. Make a budget; discuss what money should and should not be allocated towards; come up with a solution for the financial issues that you two are having. Once you talk the issue out, you might learn that it isn’t even a money issue that you’re having, but a power issue instead.
4. Personal Time
You two need to spend time apart. If you’re not okay with that then you’re probably not ready to be in a steady relationship. What your S/O chooses to do with their free time is up to them, not you. This is another power issue in my eyes. If you feel like they are not using their personal time the right way then you are having an issue of trying to control your S/O. It’s personal time. Let them choose how they will spend it.
Even if you don’t live together, chances are that you spend a lot of time at your S/O’s place. It’s not uncommon that you will ‘take care’ of certain chores even if it’s at your S/O’s place and not yours — like doing the dishes, for example. This could cause a fight between the two of you because you feel like it’s something that they should do without having to be told or because you feel responsible for doing them in the first place. I am a firm believer that you can see what types of traits your S/O has when you first started dating them. If the dishes were never done when you first started hanging out, what made you think that was going to change? If you’re always going to complain about them not being done… just do them yourself or let it go.
6. Old News
I can’t stand to see a couple fighting over something that happened before they were even in a relationship. Leave the past in the past. PERIOD.
7. Old Habits
You can think of these as pet peeves as well. You can’t get mad at your partner for doing something that they have always done, no matter how much it gets on your nerves. You chose to date them — all of them — even the mild annoyances they have. You can’t pick a fight with your S/O because they won’t stop being themselves.
You’re probably not going to like all of your S/O’s friends,but that doesn’t give you the right to fight with them about it. Just like with the pet peeves and old habits, you can’t pick a fight with your S/O because he or she chose the friends that they did. This can be a power issue and this is also why it’s so important to spend time away from one another. You can ask that your S/O doesn’t hang out with the friend that you don’t like around you, but you can’t ask them not to hang out with them because you don’t care for them.
As awesome as make-up sex is, you shouldn’t have to make-up all the time. Pick and choose your battles and let the small sh*t go!